Wed, 25 July 2012
Anna Feris wants to know your sleep number. LITERALLY! Twenty Eleventy's What's Your Number stars Anna Feris, Chris Evans, Andy Samberg, Joel McHale and Chris Pratt. When her latest boyfriend dumps her after refusing to accompany her to her younger sister's wedding, Anna makes a pact that the next man she sleeps with will be her last. You see, she's teetering on nearly a SCORE of past lovers and her Polly Prissy Miss Fancy Panties Magazine says that women who've wet more than twenty wicks in their lifetime are emotionally incapable of marriage. So, of course you know the saying...when you make a pact, God laughs and then shows you Joel McHale's back-sack. Anna breaks her pact by sleeping with Mr. Talk Soup and now she must backtrack and revisit her old score of B.Fs, hoping against hope that one of them can clean up nice and be marriage material. Luckily, she lives next to Captain America, who's willing to aid her in her quest to find the best EX of her life. But with the First Avenger rescue her heart in the process? Renew your subscription NOW and receive our FREE football phone to find out! Noah reaps what the Smiley Face episode hath sown and The Great Oppegaardo graces us with his uncanny abilities.
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Wed, 18 July 2012
Comedy, Party of None, there will be a 104 minute wait for your table! No Reservations (2007), starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin and Patricia Clarkson. C-Z Jeezy is really good at staying in the kitchen and making sandwiches of sass for her unruly patrons. When her sister dies in a horrendous car wreck, she inherits a cage-free newly orphaned niece, who's quite the emotional handful! Meanwhile, back at the grill, her staff is slowly being taken over by the charms of her replacement chef, Aaron eechhart. When he came on the scene, Zeta ate a pie, with an ample side of humble! This kitchen isn't big enough for the both of them, and in order to make room, we'll have to eat our hearts out! It just goes to show you that life isn't always made to order and if you can't stand the heart, get out of their kitchen! Noah, a recovering latchkey kid, reveals his fantastic time travel plans and Dave forms a Dead Poet's Society with a classroom of Pillsbury doughboys, all-the-while eating from a bag of beef jerky called "DARE".
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Wed, 11 July 2012
Stop romancing that stone and pack your bags, we’re going on a VayHECHEion for Six Days and Seven Nights! This Ivan Reitman rom com features no bakeries, coffee shops or bookstores, just Harrison Ford and Anne Heche surviving in the isles of the South Pacific, exploring the true adventures of the human heart. Mayday! Mayday! Anne Heche is about to marry Ross from Friends when her plane goes down and she realizes that she might have to Schwim for it. Luckily, her plane is being piloted by a Hans who flies Solo on the tank of a broken heart. They land on an island filled with almost as much peril two middle-aged people can handle. Pirates, sinkholes, water snakes and inflatable life rafts, oh my! It’s enough daring-do to scare anyone straight...into the heart of a fond memory. Love it or Heche it, you’ll have one helluva iPhoto slideshow. Noah gives us a rehash of Hecheful hearsay and Dave helps Katie Holmes get back on her feet.
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Wed, 4 July 2012
Let's declare independance from this yuppie yenta's agenda! Why? Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Tom Everett Scott and one half of the Gilmore Girls. Diane Keaton is about to turn half a century plus ten and she’s got one last goal before she becomes another tale of the cryptkeeper. All of her daughters have married off except for her youngest and most vulnerable, Mandy Moore. Although she caters cakes like crazy and can sing like the dickens, Mandy ain’t real handy when it comes to pickin’ her mannies. Lucky for her, Diane Keaton has just ordered a state of the art Gateway computer and with her baby boomer gumption and social network nudging, she makes it rain with mom-approved men on Mandy’s life. Only not all of them pass muster and when it comes time for Mandy to choose between the love of her life and the love of her mom’s ideal find, we realize quickly that true love ain’t no cakewalk! Several polka dots were harmed during the production of this film.
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