Thu, 23 February 2012
Aaahh GREEK Out! Le Weak, C’est Chic, GREEK Out! A gentile walks into a Greek restaurant and leaves with a wife and her family,(i.e the entire population of the isle of Crete). Opa! This ultimate date flick from 2002 starring Nia Vardalos, John Corbett and Michael Constantine is heavy on the schtick with a sparse garnish of plot. Be sure to save room for some Baklava, or the one-eyed Nana in black will spit on your bride to be! Ahhh, Love is here to stay...along with her family...in hell! MOUSSAKA! FETA!!! GYROS!!!
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Thu, 16 February 2012
You break it you buy it and boy did we ever! Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and one wrecked Honeymoon Suite that will surely be in need of a good Priceline Negotiator. As Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga draws to a close, Breaking Dawn Pt. One teaches us one valuable lesson: When you marry your high school sweetheart, be sure to get something old, something new, something Borrowed and something OHMYGOD she’s pregnant! Pattinson may not be a one-pump-chump, but this situation is certainly a one-hump-baby-bump! It’s like MTV’s 16 and pregnant on Quaaludes…and guest starring a bunch of talking wolves. Join us as we dish on our very first unintentional romantic comedy!
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Wed, 8 February 2012
Valentine’s Day (2010) Starring Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway and every other form of matter that has color and moves. Come watch all the L.A pretty peoples celebrate VD and realize that they are JUST LIKE US! …Well, just like those of us who spend every VD performing a civilwar-esque reenactment of LOVE ACTUALLY. Cupid has his hands full, full of slings and arrows, but luckily Gary Marshall has packed this cast well over the regulated fire code limit. You can run but you can’t hide from the cupid. He has soft feet and small pink hands. He can smell your desperation, as if it were chum in the water. No matter how many Topher Graces, Jessica Albas and Jessica Biels you hide behind HE will find you out. He has rose thorns for teeth and yellow candy hearts for eyes, eyes that never close. On Valentine’s Day, we will break up, we will make up and we will take up our hearts!
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Thu, 2 February 2012
Hey! You got your Chauvinism in my Chivalry. Hey! You got your Chivalry in my Chauvinism. Two great tastes that taste great together….in HELL! In this 2009 delight Gerard Butler makes Katherine Heigl eat a plate of humble pie, but not before he gets his just deserts! I apologize, its after midnight and I haven’t been fed. Don’t tell Mr. Wing. Mogwai! Heigl, which isn’t just an exercise you do to make your vagina strong, is a romantically challenged morning show producer. Butler is a cable access misanthrope who lands a job on her show, all the while landing a place in her heart. He’s going to show her the ropes in the game of love…but careful, Gerry, you might just end up against the ropes!
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