Dave and Noah say goodbye and Good Luck Chuck! This film stars Dane Cook, Jessica Alba and your worst migraine!

At the age of ten, Dane Cook gets cursed by a Goth girl at a party, forcing him to live a life of always being the "one" right before any woman finds her ONE. After meeting Jessica Alba he decides he can't lose her to the next guy.  There are lots of boobs in this.

Dave and Noah take a walk down Fatty lane.  Come join us for this extendo episode! Thanks for listening!

Direct download: Goodluckedit.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am CDT

Come visit your Uncle Noah.  He's so lonely!  




Experience Entertainment Weekly like never before...

Direct download: unclenoahAD.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:40pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah just can’t keep a secret, The Secret of My Succes$! This 1987 Rom Com stars Alex P. Keaton himself, Michael J. Fox, along with Helen Slater and Richard Jordan.

Fox is just a country boy from Kansas who moves to New York with dreams of becoming the next Donald Trump, a Trump with an even bigger propensity to screw family members.

When his first job falls through, he calls his uncle who happens run a multinational conglomerate just down the block.  He gets a job in the mailroom and falls for Helen Slater, a real blue plate special who works in accounting. The boss’ wife throws herself at him while he takes over a vacant office, creating a fake personae that starts making great strides within the corporation.  But falling stocks, a hostile takeover and an even more hostile libido of a horny aunt all conspire to ensare our wily Fox.  Will the secret of his success be strong enough for a man, but PH balanced for a woman?

Dave and Noah talk about how to range the Night, the film Ruthless People, a time to kill, love in an apple-crater and Dave’s new band Horny Aunt Vera. Thanks for listening!

Direct download: sec2suckfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:54am CDT

This week Dave and Noah sing Que Sera, Sera with Michael Cera in 2009’s crap trap Youth in Revolt. It stars Cera, Portia Doubleday, Zach Galifianakis, Ray Liotta and Steve Buscemi. After swindling a bunch of sailors, Zach Galifianakis has to take his girlfriend and stepson, Cera, on the run to Clearwater, CA. While they are hiding out in a trailer park, Cera falls head-over-heels with Portia Doubleday, the girl next door. When it comes time to leave, Cera arranges to win the favor of Doubleday through a series of juvenile delinquent acts that will get him kicked out of his mom’s house and lead him back into arms of his trailer park princess. In order to accomplish this, Cera must create an alter ego named Francois to show him the ropes in juvenile debauchery. Que Cera, Cera, we hardly knew yee!

You’ll never guess what Dave and Noah have hidden in their closet! Plus, the topics of this week’s podcast: the color of Steve Buscemi’s parachute, Jonah Hills we’d die on, and a palette cleanser that is neither cleansing nor palatable.

Direct download: youthinrevfin.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:07pm CDT

Dave and Noah hop into a shoe closet time machine with Jennifer Garner and set the Flux Capacitor to 13 Going on 30, starring the Alias spy herself, Mark Ruffalo and Judy Greer. 

On the day of her 13th Birthday, Jennifer Garner makes a wish to be Thirty, Flirty and Thriving, just like the models in her favorite magazine.  A shoe closet and some novelty wishing dust Rip Van Winkle her 17 years into the future.  She's Thirty and Thriving all right, but flirting with amnesia!  She's a big time magazine editor whose somehow lost touch with her childhood best friend, Mark Ruffalo.  She has to get him back and take the nearest closet out of this alternate timeline, and quick, before she's 30 going on Botex!  

Dave and Noah are podcasting stealthily from a housesitting job in St. Paul. Shoe hoarding, Magazine rivalries, Golden Retrievers named Ruby and how to get rid of two corpses whilst handing out candy for Trick or Treaters are some of the many things discussed in this episode. Let's do the Time Warp Again!   

Direct download: 13goingon30edit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:04pm CDT

No dave. 

Noah goes Nanners Nanowrimo style. 

Plus, we read the Katy Perry issue of Entertainment Weekly. 

Direct download: finalfallowfin.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:21pm CDT

This Halloween Dave and Noah experience love at first bite! After they finish their Hershey'sn KitKat bars they watch 2013's Warm Bodies starring Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, and that awesome dude from Hot Tub Time machine.  

The little boy from Nick Hornby's About a Boy is all "growed-up" and wearing Edward-Twilight-white-face for this daring romantic comedy about a zombie that puts down the brains for a beautiful blonde. This film turns Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet on its severed ear, giving us a Julie (Teresa Palmer) whose creepily powerful dad (John Malkovich) doesn't want her messing around with those goddamned Z-words, no matter how cute and red-hoody-licious they are. Join us as we witness the making of an inter-mortal relationship.  We've got corpsey-fever! We've got corpsey-fever!

Dave and Noah get fierce and flawless as they put their fashion skills to the test by giving Hollywood's classic monsters the makeover of their dreams!

Michael Cera jokes are made and we belatedly mourn the passing of Dostoevsky.  

Direct download: Warmbodsedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:22am CDT

This week Dave and Noah make a deal with the Devil of all remakes: 2000's Bedazzled, starring Brendan Fraser, Frances O'Connor and Austin Powers' Fembot wife Elizabeth Hurley!
Brendan sells his soul for seven wishes, and he uses them all for the love of his office crush, Frances O'Connor. Elizabeth Hurley plays the Prince of Darkness but even her 19 different costume changes of hotness can't make this terrible terrible movie any more bearable. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then this movie is heaven-sent!
Noah makes a deal-a-meal with the Devil in Dave, Dave gets possessed by Tone Loc, and we reveal how to make a Pet Cemetery work for YOU!
Direct download: Bedazzfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 5:18pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah discover that there’s always room for J-LO!  They are subjected to 2001’s The Wedding Planner which stars Jennifer Lopez, Matthew McConaughey and Bridgette Wilson-Sampras.

Former In Living Color Fly Grrl J-Lo has put down the cross-colors and picked up a palm pilot, becoming San Francisco’s premier wedding planner. However, the only thing she couldn’t plan for was falling in love with the groom of one of her biggest clients!  That’s right, chollo, our former Maid in Manhattan is fare-hopping her way onto the McConaughey express, but not before the evil blonde bride Bridgette Wilson-Sampras can put a stop to it!  

The stakes have never been higher than medium rare. 

Dave and Noah plan each other’s weddings. And we ordain the next Sausage Queen.

Direct download: Wedplanedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 4:52pm CDT

Dave has gone Dodo. 

Noah celebrates a happy Falloween.  Beware, he has library stories that will make you clutch your bookmark in terror!

Direct download: fallowlibhorror.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:07pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah take a joyride, but not with '91 Swede-rock sensation Roxette,  they join the two Coreys in a Caddy for 1988's License to Drive, starring Corey Haim, Heather Graham, Corey Feldman and a bottle of champagne so big, you'll never be able to fit it in your glove compartment!

After flunking his written test for a driver's permit, Corey Haim gets asked out by the hottest Roller Girl in California.  She's got a brand new pair of rollerskates and he's got the keys to his Grampa's precious Cadillac.  But will he be able to get caddy back to his daddy in one piece? 

Dave shares his surefire methods of study for any student receiving a driver's education. Noah let's his inner gearhead shine and we pay tribute to a Corey who was put in Haim's way.

Direct download: licensetoedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 4:11pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah BUG OUT on 1986's Lucas, starring Corey Haim, Kerri Green, Charlie Sheen, Wynona Ryder and Jeremy Piven.  What Corey Haim lacks in social skills, he more than makes up for in his love for bugs!  While out on one of his entomological quests, he comes across one damn fine specimen: Kerri Green, the new girl in town.  He falls for her, but school begins and she yearns to take to the fields as a cheerleader. Corey joins the football team and endures a heap of homoerotic torture just to earn her love...but her heart has taken a shine to wide receiver Charlie Sheen. Winning!

Dave flies to Burbank, California to interview the composer of Lucas' score. Noah suffers PTSD from having to watch a movie that involves sports. 

Direct download: Lucasfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:11pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah take the McDreamy Express back to sKool!!!  1987's Can't Buy Me Love stars Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Seth Green and Malachai from Children of the Corn!  Before he became Dr. McDreamy, Patrick Dempsey was 'lil McSpazzy, and through a convenient turn of events he secretly pays the most popular girl in his high school one grand to date him for a month.  Popularity, sex, and a snazzy Columbus Day dance ensue, only to quickly succumb to a miscalculated tsunami-esque abundance of emotions, feelings and boring-ass intimacy. A young and annoyingly precocious Seth Green couldn't have said it better, "Something stinks in Suburbia."

Dave and Noah share who they would like to rent for a month and Dave gives us a Palette Cleanser that puts the "ore" in "Whore"!

Direct download: cantbuyedit2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 2:37pm CDT

Dave is at a Rave. 

Noah meets Royalty. 

Direct download: fallowew1276.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:11pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah crash the party of last century!  Can't Hardly Wait from 1998 stars Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Seth Green and an assortment of other poor souls who have since succumbed to the Y2K crisis at the turn of the century.

In order to earn her Ghost Whisperer wings, Jennifer Love Hewitt breaks up with the most popular stud in school.  Hearing that Jennifer is footloose and fancy free, Ethan Embry takes it upon himself to put out the torch that he's been carrying for her his entire highschool career.  He will pour his heart out to her at the Graduation Kegger that's raging at Molly's house. However, like the Hotel California, this party may have some brewskies on ice, but every person attending is a prisoner of their own device! 

Dave gives some sage advice to the class of 1998. Noah consults Wikihow for the what, when and where of life.

Direct download: Canthardfin.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 2:25pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah get their "just desserts" by watching Just One of the Guys from 1985. This poor man/woman's Tootsie stars Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner and "Johhny Lawrence" the Cobrah Kai bully from Karate Kid!

Joyce Hyser almost has it all: a bangin' bod, a college boyfriend to bang her bod, her own swimming pool, a friend that wears Cosby sweaters and a sexually precocious little brother.  However, her life can't be complete without a Summer internship at the Phoenix SunTimes.  When her english teacher Mr. Raymaker chooses two boys over her for the coveted position, Joyce decides to literally grow a pair and submit her application as a man at a neighboring highschool. Gender Bender hilarity attempts to ensue, delivered unto us by a chariot of 80's pop synthesizers. 

Dave and Noah head to the Warren family farm to ready their back to school supplies lists. Tucked away in the dark hills of River Falls, Wisconsin, they are far from the reach of any surprise jock inspection. 

Direct download: Justoneofedits2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:40pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah put down their food diaries and pick up The Nanny Diaries, starring Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Paul Giamatti, Captain America and the ebony of all ivory: Alicia Keys!

How far will Scarly Jo go to find herself this summer? Having just graduated with a degree in Anthropology, she randomly gets offered a job to be a nanny for Laura Linney's Upper East Side Strife.  Minding a precocious brat whose parents alternate between being perpetually bitchy or lecherously horny to her, Scarly Jo soon catches the eye of Chris Evans, a Harvard Hottie who lives in the same building. Can his honky-but hunky love lift her up where she belongs? Only her Ethnic Best Friend Alicia holds the Keys to that quandary.

There once was a Nanny named Dave, who minded a cruiseship of knaves....Noah becomes your ethnic best friend.  

Direct download: NanDiedit_2.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 6:19pm CDT

This week Dave and Noah get a case of the "grumpies" and head over to Wabasha, MN  for 1993's Grumpy Old Men.  This is the conclusion of our Four part Summer series Fatty Goes Local, where we celebrate all Rom Coms related to Minnesota.

Grumpy Old Men stars The-Odd-Couple-turned-Old-timers Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. These two are proof positive that you don't need a family to have a feud, just a neighbor. Having spent decades feuding over the love of one woman, (who oddly enough isn't in the picture), Matthau and Lemmon find new realms in their contempt for each other after Ann-Margret moves in next door. Madison, the mermaid from Splash pops up in this, to give us a palette cleanser from all the liver spots.

Noah tells us why we must avoid Lake Pepin. Dave gets blinded by a date, revved up like a deuce, which, in turn, makes him another runner in the night.

Direct download: grumpyedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:31am CDT

Dave has turned around bright-eyed and isn't available. 

Noah has a birthday and the worst first week of being 34. 

Listen closely for the breakdown, right after the closing theme. Its a stolen moment of for reals. 

Direct download: EW1271edit.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:54pm CDT

The dreck of the Nineties is alive in Dave and Noah's psyche as they suffer through 1999's She's All That starring Minnesota native Rachael Leigh Cook.  This is part 3 of our summer series Fatty Goes Local, where we celebrate the fruits of our state's talent pool. Or talent-lake perhaps? 

With Eight weeks left of his high school career, big-man-on-campus Freddie Prinze Jr. gets dumped by Harrison High's most popular prom queen. Freddie wagers with his buddies that before the end of the school year he can turn any girl of their choosing into prom queen material. Enter Rachel Leigh Cook, Harrison High's most "hideous" art nerd, who, dig this, wears her hair in a ponytail and hides her peepers behind...GLASSES!

Uh Freddie, you're gonna need a bigger corsage!

Dave talks about how he became a potato farming Mormon for a year and Noah shares a story about how he once drove 20 miles to see a theatrical showing of Josie and the Pussycats...by himself. 

Direct download: Shesallfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:25pm CDT

Dave and Noah abstain from using their brains during this week's rom-com 40 Days and 40 Nights, starring Josh Hartnett, Shannon Sossamon and Maggie Gyllenhaal.  This is the 2nd installment of our annual summer series Fatty Goes Local!! This week we put on our "heartlights" for St. Paul, Minnesota's hunk-a-saurus honkey Josh Hartnett.

Ever since he's learned that his recent ex-Noxzema model of a girlfriend is engaged to be married to an even bigger douche, our boy Hartnett finds it hard to enjoy all the biore strip models he's taking to hump mountin'. He gives up all sex (including masturbation) for 40 days.  But like the Klingons say, abstinence is a dish best served while wearing a Hartnett!

Dave has an aneurysm over Hartnett's choice in star-humpery.  Noah dishes some super outdated gossip on the man whose harbored many a pearl with his lucky number sleven.

Direct download: 40d40edits_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 3:51pm CDT

Fatty goes local!  Dave and Noah take a staycation and visit New Ulm, MN for this week's movie New in Town starring Renee Zellweger, Harry Connick Jr., and every extra that was passed over for the Cohen Brothers' Fargo.

Zellweger is a Miami hotshot clawing her way up the corporate ladder. She is assigned to downsize a plant in New Ulm, MN. This is a town full of secrets, most of which involve Blanche Gunderson's mysteriously tasty batch of tapioca pudding. It's like Fried Green Tomatoes, but without the Southern heat, Klu Klux Klan and charmingly implied cannibalism.

The town fireman kindles a fire in Zellweger's squinty, squinty eyes, but he's a country boy and she's a Cosmo-terian. How will they ever see eye to eye?  The secret's in the tapioca!

Dave goes local with his palette cleanser and gets a history lesson on the Dakota War of 1862. In keeping with the way Renee Zellweger prepared for Bridget Jones' Diary, Noah put on 20 lbs for this episode! 

Direct download: newintownedit2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:45pm CDT

There is no dave, only Noaaaaahhhh!

Noah gets the best crack in town from a moose. He then reads from the scripture of last week's double issue of Entertainment Weekly. 

Direct download: ew1266_1227.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:56pm CDT

Dave and Noah break out the calamine lotion for this week's rash from the past, The Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell.  Ewell is a middle-aged New York publishing exec with an overactive imagination.  Having just sent his wife and kid away for the Summer, he comes home to find a pinup-girl-turned-Toothpaste-model renting the space above his place.  He's got the only air conditioner in existence and she's gotta lotta heat.  A chance encounter involving a tomato plant brings her downstairs, with a bottle of bubbly and a hankering for a ride on his amazing baby grand piano bench. We all spend the rest of this flick watching Marilyn Monroe get blown.  By air.  Various, random gusts of air.  Because if Tom Ewell won't make a move, nature will.  Nature always finds a way. 

Dave talks about how Marilyn reminds him of his grandma and Noah invents a new term called "The Subway Bidet".  Move over Jared! 

Direct download: sevenyearedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:11pm CDT

Dave and Noah get KRAKEN on this week's Greasy Rom Com My Life in Ruins, Staring Nia Vardalos, Alexis Georgoulis, Richard Dreyfuss and the ancient ruins of the ACRAPolis!

Nia Vardalos is praying to the wrong Gods.  After her main man dumps her and she gets laid off from being a professor of Greek History, she is doomed to a lifetime of giving tours of the ancient land that has broken her spirit.  But a mysterious new driver is willing to teach her a thing or two about how to get her own ancient ruins back up and ruining! And Richard Dreyfuss tags along to provide some much needed mirth that doesn't involve alien encounters, 20 foot sharks or a great american opus.

Dave tells a tale of a tour that involved South African Graveyard hijinks.  Noah remembers how he once thought that working next to the Grand Canyon might make him look thinner.

Direct download: ruinsedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:32pm CDT

Dave and Noah get "spirit-fingered" by this week's romantic comedy Fired Up! Starring Nicholas D'Agosto, Eric Christian Olsen and Sarah Roemer.

Eric and Nicholas are two high school football jocks who con their way into Cheerleader Camp for the girls, for the glory and for the gonorrhea!

Dave has eaten his cheerios and is filled with the spirit of the mighty pom-pom while Noah quizes him on his knowledge of Cheer history.  

Direct download: firedupedit.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 1:41pm CDT

No Dave. 

Noah drinks and podcasts from his closet, then loses his "shirtless virginity" with a panda-shaped man. 

Direct download: Fallowrub.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:58pm CDT

Dave and Noah duck and cover under their nearest apocalyptic Rom Com: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, starring Steve Carell and Kiera Knightly. It is the year 2021 and humanity is about to go the way of the dinosaur. In 21 days asteroid "Matilda" will hit earth.  Applebees restaurants are offering skinny margaritas along with their ecstacy laced orgies, Patton Oswalt is trying heroin and getting tail left and right and Steve Carell's wife has just run out on him.  He helps his neighbor, Kiera Knightly, find a way back to her family in exchange for her help in finding his first ex-girlfriend, the "initial one who got away". Along the way they discover that the end of the world is just the beginning...of their true heart's desire! 

Noah puts Dave in the Chuck Klosterman Closet and makes him answer hypothetical questions. Dave says goodbye to Dunder Mifflin. 

Direct download: seefriendedit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:09pm CDT

She could never be your woman but she'll always be Catwoman. Dave and Noah take a break from doing The Batdance and sit down to watch Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd do what only Ashton and Demi could pull off: Spring-Autumn relations.  2007's I Could Never Be Your Woman begins with a period. Michelle Pfeiffer's daughter is well on her way into womanhood while Michelle herself is slowly exiting through the gift shop. She is a writer for a teen show called You Go Girl who can't get over the former love of her life, played by Jon Lovitz, a man who left Catwoman for a kitten. Paul Rudd joins the cast of You Go Girl, and charms his way into Pfeiffer's ancient kitty-liter box of a heart.  But loving Paul Rudd is not easy, especially when you have Tracey Ullman playing Mother Nature, reminding you that 1999 called and it wants you to check the expiration date on your uterus. 

Dave and Noah earn the Boy Scout grey badge.  Come hear their tales of how they both had once fallen and couldn't get up from the clutches of elder-love! 

Direct download: Icouldneveredit.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:34pm CDT

Good Morning Fatty Listener.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves two stars, one past their prime and the other playing essentially their own batty self (you discern which is which). You may have seen this movie before, since it involves a secret agent trying to woo a vapid blonde in exotic locales such as Salzburg, Austria and the Witchita International Airport. Knight and Day (2010) stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. You have 23 minutes to complete this mission, and as always should any member of your team be caught or killed the Podfather Ira Glass will disavow all knowledge of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five megabytes. 

Dave and Noah board the Cam Dizzy Tom Cruise and set sail for intrigue!  Noah plays Truth or False with Dave regarding Katie Holmes' ex-hubby and Dave finally finds the love of a lifetime, a love to last his whole life through. Spoiler alert, it's C.I.A Oprah. 

Direct download: knindayfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:11pm CDT

When Dave is away, all Bette's are off!

Lifes a Beach and then you fallow. 

Direct download: fallowbette.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:33pm CDT

Larry Crowne once caught a fish "thiiiiiissss biiiiiig"!  This week Noah merMAKEs Dave watch Splash!...and we aren't talking about the reality TV game show on FOX.  We're talkin' Tom Hanks, John Candy, Eugene Levy, and a Mermaid Darryl Hannah that, from the look of her "bocci balls (!)", isn't so little!

This is one dilly of a sea pickle.  Throughout his life, Tom Hanks has never learned how to swim and he keeps falling overboard and getting rescued by a mysterious naked Darryl Hannnah who lives off the shore of Cape Cod.  After one of his more recent near drownings, he loses his wallet and she claims it, using it as her guide to find his apartment in New York City. Turns out she's a mythical Mermaid on Mermaid Rumspringa and she has only six days to decide whether to return to her life of Cape Cod underwater lifeguarding or become a bonafide bloomingdale's bedecked landlubber. Explaining all this to Hanks, whilst simultaneously knocking booty with him is complicated, to say the least.  However, Eugene Levy is on her trail (or should we say tail) to expose her true identity.  Grab some tartar sauce and go easy on the garlic bread, cuz like Red Lobster, we're gonna sea food better! 

Dave warns the world of sea urchin idenity theft and triathlon treachery. Noah reminisces of his former days of being a happy little tadpole.

Direct download: splashedit_2.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:44pm CDT

Dullness hath no fury like a Weather Girl scorned! Dave and Noah take cover from 2009's Weather Girl, starring Tricia O'Kelley and Patrick J. Adams. After having a meltdown on air that goes viral, Seattle's former morning news weather girl has to move in with her brother to "weather the storm" of a bad breakup. She falls for her brother's best friend, who lives in the apartment next door. However, he is six years her Thirty-five year old junior.  A fish and a bird can fall in love, but where will they build their nest? Since its Seattle, it probably doesn't matter, since its always partly cloudy with a million percent chance of rain. 

Dave and Noah explore fifty ways to leave your employer.  And bodies are invaded, and perhaps, perhappenstance snatched in a Dark and Stormy manner.  Somebody call Stormin' Norman! 

Direct download: wetgrledit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:05pm CDT

NO STRINGS ATTACHED, along with your retinas, after you see this piece of Rom Com! Dave and Noah delve into the Ashtray of Ashton Kutcher to retrieve the second "friends with benefits" movie of 2011. Ashton Kutcher is the son of a popular TV legend who has a habit of screwing the Kutch-dog's former girlfriends.  Ashton starts humping the nearest nurse who will take pity on him, namely Natalie Portman, who's taking a break from a life of Tom Cruise Control and Queen Padme Star Wars duties. They ask themselves the question of "can women and men be friends?" in the most intrestlingly way possible: by having copius amounts of sexual intercouse. The answer is, as always, what is your domestic box office gross gain? NO STRINGS ATTACHED, along with morals, candor and class! 

Dave calls upon one of his Mr. Writer Bombastic friends to redo our logo.  Noah talks about how he got his mom drunk once to design the original podcast logo.  And we all take a pause to recognize the incredible endeavors of Mark Rapacz. 

Direct download: NSAedit.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 7:51pm CDT

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream...and WE have MCDREAMY!

Join Dave and Noah as they tuck into a deep dish of Dempsey with a side order of Patrick.  That's a tall order for a short fry, but that fry is MADE OF HONOR from 2008, starring our main man Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan. Dempsey, a wealthy man of leisure, is the toast of the town tom cats. Michelle Monaghan is the one woman he hasn't slept with, ergo, she is his most intimate confidant. When she leaves for a temporary work trip abroad he realizes that she is the love of his life. Upon her return, he is about to propose her when she reveals that she is marrying Scotish royalty and would like him to be her Maid of Honor. This McDream has turned into a McScream. 

Dave and Noah share how they would live if they were Dempsey for a day and we finally uncover the truth about what lies beneath a certain Loch in Scotland.

Direct download: MOHedit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:25pm CDT

Time moves in one direction and this movie moves in another! This week Dave and Noah synchronize their Casio wristwatches to TiMER (2009) starring Emma Caulfield, John Patrick Amedori and Michelle Borth. It is the year 3,000ish and every twenty-something has the option of having a TiMER installed in their wrist.  A TiMER is like a more portable, more sentient version of the online dating site OK CUPID. This device simply gives a countdown to the day you will meet your one true soul mate.  Some people (the super slutty ones) have countdowns that span decades, while some (the super-duper slutty ones) have a countdown that is a matter of hours. Emma Caulfield's TiMER is blank and it will remain blank until her soulmate gets with jiggy with the Joneses and has one installed. In the meantime she dates a grocery cashier who has a timer that will go off in three months, but his free spirit teaches her that true love has no ETA...which strangely enough is ATE backwards.  Now I'm hungry. It's tater-tot time! I'd better set the timer on the stove... 

Dave has a misadventure at Big Top Liquor while Noah wishes he was watching Big Top Pee-wee, the sequel to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. 

Direct download: TiMEReditfin.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:28am CDT

Now BOREding for takeoff, it's OVERNIGHT (2012) starring Rachel Blanchard and James D'Arcy.  This is one redeye that will make you wish you had pinkeye!  Rachel is departing from Splitsville, CA, when a chance encounter with a banjo playing Physics professor causes her overnight flight to become an overnight delight!  Their relationship TAKES OFF at the speed of sound, but before their hearts can reach great new heights, they have a helluva lot of baggage to check.  But this is nothing that a little papa smurf fetishising can't fix...or is it?  When the rubber meets the tarmac, our James D'Arcy physics professor, who specializes in string theory, is going to wish he specialized in rope theory, because she's slipping away!

Dave tells a harrowing tale of going to San Diego while leaving his Manatee in Phoenix. Noah beholds a Zach Galifianakis in Arab-face. 

Direct download: overnightfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:06pm CDT

Dave is off helping blind women throw clay pots on a pottery wheel.

Noah makes a twenty minute correction to the fallow episode from 2/22. 

Direct download: Fallowbeach.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:05am CDT

 Call off the jesters, for this week fatty gives you the royal treatment with 2004's The Prince & Me. This crown jewel may be shiny, but beware, beneath yonder garb there be ginger-haired inbreeding! Starring Julia Stiles and Luke Mably, this franchise, (part one of four) begins upon a time when a series called "Girls Gone Wild" existed. Heavy weighs the impending crown of Prince Mably, who finds the royal Danish floozies dreadfully triflesome and boring.  Whilst channel surfing one afternoon, Prince Luke Mably spies an ad for "Girls gone Wild" being brodcasted from a land called Madison, Wisconsin. He cuts off his royal ties and travels to the land of Milk and Packers whereupon he becomes enchanted under Julia Stiles' anal retentive spell. She's a pre-med farmgirl who has an unfortunate mental deficiency in knowing how to doff her top, even when ordered by a Danish Prince in disguise! Be that as it may, even though she's a little bit country and he's a little bit rock'n'roll, they find it in their hearts to love each other so! But HARK! The King of Denmark has fallen ill and the Danish Paparazzi are hot on this couple's heels!  Will his pauper's charade become a plague on both their houses? Alas! Anon! Arrivederci!

Dave does a hundred pushups and Noah talks about how he once made flesh payment to the Dark Lord of Deli Meat & Frozen Yogurt.

Direct download: PnMEfinal.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:39pm CDT

It's Dave and Noah's very first GUESSISODE.  The first part of this episode is recorded with our predictions of the plot, then we watch the chick flick and spend the rest of the episode on suicide watch, you dig? This week we prognosticate License To Wed starring John Krasinsky, Mandy Moore and the MORKster himself: Robin Williams! Mandy wants a traditional Cat-Lick weddin' but their priest is anything but traditional.  Or even kitten-lickin' good at his Jason Priestly duties.

He is going to put them through the ringer and I'm not just talking anal. They even have to raise a pair of robot babies.  It's totally Blade Runner, if Ridley Scott had played too much pro-football in his youth. The rest of this movie is so bland that even an appearance from Wanda Sykes only briefly turns it from bland to caramel, and then back to bland. But we all learn a few things about ourselves, especially when it comes to finding a good place in your apartment to hide all of your sharp objects. Better head down to the Department of Marital Values, cuz it's time to renew your License to Wed!

Noah tries to shake his memeory of Robin William's darker work in One Hour Photo and Insomnia while Dave looks into leasing a very cherry 2007 Mandy Moore. 

Direct download: lic2wedfin.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:28pm CDT

Fatty is now leaving Forks, Washington, population: zzz, zzz, zzz. The end of a saga is upon us as Dave and Noah are subjected to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II, starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and a breakfast burrito worth of CGI found in George Lucas' Roomba. K-Stew has a new attitude: she now sucks blood instead of screen time, but the salad days of her new marriage are over.  Her and R-Pat have been accused of committing the most heinous of all vampire crimes: upstaging Dakota Fanning with a younger, more cuter baby vampire who could give Honey Boo-Boo a run for her pharmaceutical grade Flintstone Vitamin Uppers. So once again every freak who could give a frack in Forks has to band together and help K-Stew and R-Pat go stand in a field to face off the Voltori, a supreme court team of Draculas from Italy. However, since this world lives and dies according to Stephenie Meyer's magical Mormon underwear, there are no outlandish rulings or even epic battles. People just stand and stare at each other, letting their thoughts do the heavy lifting. Just what this story needs...more staring! 

Dave tells his story of watching this movie in a discount theater full of Dakota Fannings. Noah brings up maple syrup and we all try to pretend that Jacob isn't really that into babies.

Direct download: breDp2edit_2.m4a
Category:general -- posted at: 8:21pm CDT

Dave is on a farm in upstate New York. 

Noah watches Teen Wolf Season Two and listens to his jams. 

Direct download: fallowlistfinal.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:25am CDT

Valentine’s Day is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one will cream all over your face. Fatty rings The Girl Next Door starring Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert Timothy Olyphant and Paul Dano. Hirsch is a straight-A senior gunning for a scholarship to Georgetown. His straight A’s take a turn to straight “V’s” when a new girl moves in next door to him and goes to town on his george. Metaphorically, of course, these are high schoolers for Pete’s sake! After they’ve been dating a spell, Hirsch finds out that her former line of work involved hoochie-coochie-peeping-Tom-foolery with the cameras and the fluffers and disco lights and whatnot.  Plus, she has a skeezy producer who wants to pull her back into that risque buisness.  What’s a goody straight-laced-two-shoes with everything on the line to do?  The answer lies in the purest meaning of the phrase “if you can’t beat ‘em, join em!” and boy does he!  

Dave has a brand new pair of rollerskates and George Saunders has a brand new key. Noah spins a yarn that involves him being a Maid in Mr. Movies.  MAID!  ...MAID!

Direct download: GNDedit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:29pm CDT

This sequel is a drag. Literally.  Miss Congeniality II: Armed and Fabulous stars Sandra Bullock, Regina King, William Shatner, Ernie Hudson and a whole bunch of drag queens.  Picking up a mere two weeks after the tumultuous events that took place at the close of Miss Congeniality, Sandra Bullock finds that returning to work at the FBI is turning out to effin' be AY-yi-YI!  Her reputation and celebrity preceeds her, causing her cover to be blown which gets her partner shot. (Bullock is a fantastic moving target). After her boyfriend dumps her, Bullock's boss, (Winston from Ghostbusters), shacks her up with a gay make-up bag whisperer and she becomes the new face of the FBI.  Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation shows up and kidnaps William Shatner and the Queen of Miss United States, holding them for ransom.  Bullock wants back in on the investigation side of the Federal Bureau, but she has public relations, and, more tragically, a sassy black body guard to contend with before she can save her pageant pals from the evil Ron Swanson. This movie is a lazy susan of intrigue, wacky disguises and the ghastly cashing in of cred. If you want your living room to feel more like the waiting area of an intensive care unit, then put this movie on!

Dave reckons this movie is worse than Smiley Face, an Anna Farris picture that we reviewed back in November of 2011. It used to be our worst pick ever, but now Dave is willing to let it go with love.  Noah wears his crying bra.   

Direct download: mcon2final.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:05pm CDT

Drawing a blank? Well she DREW BARELY MORE than one when trying to remember her last true kiss. 
Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore, David Arquette and that sexy dude from Alias.

Drew Barrymore is an uptight copy editor with a checkered high school past who yearns to be a reporter.  One day she gets an opportunity to go undercover as a highschool student to write her first article about
how kids these days REALLY live.  Determined to rewrite her past, Drew never expected she'd be copyediting her future, a future with a dashing, yet soulful kindred spirit, who happens to be HER ENGLISH TEACHER!  Don't stand so close to this one, fatties, cuz she's never been kissed and his kiss is on her LIST!

Dave yearns for those glory days when he was a jock who could bully nerds on their own level: through chess.  Noah perfects his sunny surfer girl drawl. Almost.

Direct download: NeverBKedit.m4a
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:53pm CDT

No Dave. 

Noah Mourns the passing of a local legend. 

And he gets drunk and tells the tale of a worst week ever. 

Direct download: Fallowadvice.m4a
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:41am CDT

Get this couple some velcro, cuz they seem to have trouble tying the knot!  The Five Year Engagement, from 2012, stars Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt and Alison Brie. Jason is a chef and Emily is a gal who's practically made-to-order for him!  They get engaged and she gets an offer for post graduate work in Michigan.  They push their wedding date back two years and Jason quits his San Francisco treat of a Sous Chef job to follow her to the Great Lake State.  Only the state of their relationship is not so great, especially when Emily's program gets extended another three years. Chris Pratt and Alison Brie provide some background antics to the foreground glacial erosion of Emily and Jason's relationship.  It's like watching paint dry and somehow feeling emotionally scarred by the whole ordeal...as if you were once felt up by an Uncle Hirshfields and now every day ends with you figuratively painting yourself into an emotional corner. Paging Wilson Phillips, we need to BREAK FREE FROM THE CHAINS!!!

Dave talks about forming his own Dead Poets Society with apathetic culinary students and Noah wonders if a Lane Bryant catalog could've gotten Osama Bin Laden off.

Direct download: fiveyredit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:37pm CDT

More like 27 messes!  Katherine has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a low-gl. But before this low-gl can become a Heigl who's happily betrothed, she is cursed to walk amongst the pomp and circumstance of matrimony 27 times over, serving many a Lord draped in white and satin. Her sister comes to visit and seduces her only romantic interest, (her boss), out from under her.  They fall hard and fast, asking Heigl to officiate their wedding, which will be in three weeks. Meanwhile a rogue reporter, James Marsden, has taken it upon himself to profit from Heigl's plight.  He's assigned  to cover the impending nuptials, However, his secret expose´ won't be the only thing that's black and white and red all over. All aboard!  Grab your slippers and your cat, this train's headed to Cliche Bay, population LOVELORN.  

Move over Chris Gaines and Sasha Fierce! Dave has his own alter ego named Skittles.  Don't pee on her leg and tell her it's raining, because Judge Judy is on!  Noah reveals his ideal wedding, and it will haunt your dreams.   

Direct download: 27dredits.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 5:13pm CDT

Wedding Bells, this film smells, Ashton laid an egg!  Ring in the new Millenium for the Thirteenth time by watching JUST MARRIED starring Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy, and the French Alps!  Ashton is a radio traffic announcer and Brittany is just a rich girl who’s gone too far, (but you know it don’t matter anyway), by marrying Kutcher and taking him on the Honeymoon from Hell. These two may be young and blessed with perfect skin (Ashton looks like a Gelfling from Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal), but the gods of matrimony have cursed them eternal postnuptial kerfuffles. Ashton accidentally kills Murphy’s prized puppy and lies about it while Brittany accidentally sleeps with her ex-boyfriend.  Luckily, he’s stalking them as they traverse the French Alps into Venice.  But don’t worry, this movie made a lot of money. It made so much money.  

Dave talks about his New Year’s Eve exposure to secondhand fried food and Noah reveals the most efficient way to become fluent in Old English.  Move over Rosetta Stone!

Direct download: jumarfin.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:59pm CDT

Noah Warren gets possessed by the spirit of Oprah Winfrey and this fallow episode of When Harry Met Fatty becomes another episode of Noprah Warrenphry's Favorite Things!  Whatever you do...DO NOT look under your seat!

Direct download: Fallowfave.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 6:16pm CDT

I put my hand up on your hip, when you dip, I dip, WE DIP! Serendipity, starring John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale, John Corbett, Molly Shannon, Jeremy Piven and Eugene Levy. Fatty spends Christmas Eve in a department store with Cusack and Kate, who are fighting over the last pair of cashmere gloves in existence. Kate ends up having to buy him hot chocolate for the gloves but Cusack ends up getting a steaming mug full of hot air about fate, destiny, and free will. They exchange numbers via a five dollar bill and a 1st edition copy of Love in the Time of Cholera. The bill is spent on a pack of Certs and the book is sold to a used bookstore. If either one of them happens upon each other's phone number, then it is fate telling them to move Heaven and Earth to find each other.  Smash cut to three years later. Both of them are engaged to other people, living on opposite sides of the country, having the worst case of cold feet. They make one last ditch effort to seek each other out, only to find that fate has a massive hard-on for pulling them together and keeping them apart. Serendip? More like just the tip!
Christmas break is upon us at Fatty studios and Dave talks of his planned trip to New York to take that Olsen Twins New York Minute movie tour.  Noah talks of his past adventures in kitty sitting. Merry Christmas!

Direct download: serenedityfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:56am CDT

Sweet Mandy Bynes, BUM-BUM-BUM- good times never seemed so androgynous...From the year Two-Thousand and SEX comes a tale of female to male...She’s The Man, starring Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum-tots and David Cross.  

Be sure to top off your gender blender with some peach schnapps, cuz we’re gonna make one helluva shake outta Shakespeare.  Inspired loosely by The Bard’s Twelfth Night, this rom com is about a soccer playing Tomboy who impersonates her twin brother in order to make first string on an all boy’s soccer team.  Along the way, she falls for the team's striker, Magic Mike who wants her to fix him up with her hot chemistry lab partner, who’s bunson only burns for the faux boy Bynes. Warning, this flick features graphic scenes of honesty, emotion and caring...about soccer.

Dave shares stories of divorced parent trickery and Noah reveals what he and his mother unearthed whilst decking their halls.

Direct download: shemanedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:54pm CDT

Warning: the week’s episode features full frontal Brittany!  Hide your bangers and mash, Dave and Noah review 2006’s Love and Other Disasters Starring Brittany Murphy, Matthew Rhys and Catherine Tate.  Brittany has just graduated from the Madonna Academy of Fake British Accents and she lives her life one Breakfast at Tiffany’s at a time.  She’s obsessed with Holly Golightly and she drapes herself (literally) with gay men, working as an intern at UK Vogue. However, the world can only have so many fruit flies for her to play matchmaker with and when she nets a tall dark and mansome one at work, she thinks she's found the ultimate gay dude for her to marry.  Yes, we are serious.  She's in the market for a homo hubby.The only problem is, this dude is a breeder who just wants to feed her some good old-fashioned love, American style, with a side of extra heterosexuality, because, like King Midas, everything this chick touches turns to gay.  She is like a heavenly body that supernovas gayness every ten minutes, creating galaxies of gay in her path,all she sees is gay and in the words of John Lennon all you need is gay.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Like Bob Dylan, Dave's gone electric! His first young adult ebook, The Ragged Mountains hits the mobile marketplace just in time for the fiscal cliff!  Noah shares a wonderful memory about the Nineteen-Nineties situation comedy Blossom

Direct download: lovedisasfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:51pm CDT

It's National Novel Writing Month and Noah goes nanners. 

Direct download: fallowrimo.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:28am CDT

This week Dave and Noah forget to hang the Do Not Disturb sign and they are subjected to MAID IN MANHATTAN from the year 2002.  Starring Jennifer Lopez and Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes), this rom com is MAID to order!  J-Lo is just another ethnic survivor of the plight of inner city plot contrivance.  She works at a swanky hotel where she raises her son, MTV's future TEEN WOLF Tyler Posey, and while trying on the latest fashion of one of her guests she gets mistaken by Ralph Fiennes as one of the rich-bitch guests.  Ralph is running for senator, and he's campaigning for a place in J-Lo's pants, but she can only offer him turnover service because she's a lowly maid in ManHELL.  Alas, we are all fooled by the rocks that she got.
Dave and Noah celebrate Thanksgiving by updating their gratitude Journals.  Dave is thankful for a mummified maid he had when he was just Davy from the block. Noah is thankful for his days he spent toiling in the Cuntry Inn.Happy Thanksgiving.  May it be Maid in Man-turkey-lurkey!

Direct download: maidinfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:22am CDT

Reach for that tiara and tell Honey Boo Boo to shoo, because this week Dave and Noah are in it to win it!  From the turn of this Century, we review Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, William Shatner, Candice Bergen, and Michael Caine!  When a creepy serial killer threatens to make the Miss United States Beauty Pageant end in a BANG, FBI special Agent Sandra Bullock must go undercover as Beyonce’s alter ego Sasha Fierce!  This stirs up desires that her field partner and mission leader Benjamin Bratt never knew he had, mainly because when it comes to crime and punishment, tomboy Sandra has Bullocks that are too big for the both of them!  Time is running out and so is the double stick tape for the swimsuit competition!

Dave and Noah report live from Midway Lanes in St. Paul, MN where this year’s MISS MIDWAY Pageant is underway!

Direct download: MsConfinal2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:40pm CDT

In just ten days Kate Hudson must be a chooser, a user and a loser!  Dave and Noah are inoculated by 2003’s How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days starring Kate Hudsuckerson, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Lennon and Bebe Neuwirth. 

Kate Hudson is your average blonde New Yorker... meaning she is required by several city ordinances and federal mandates to write a column for some publication and be on an endless quest to fulfill the whimsies of her heart’s desire. After her dowdy best friend gets dumped bigtime, Kate is inspired to hold an experiment: She will catch a man and drive him away in 10 days utilizing all of the mistakes her friend and most average dowdy sistah friends make when dealing with the male persuasion. 

Matthew McConaughey is a Ad man for Douche Digest and in order to win a huge client he must wager that he can make a woman fall in love with him in less than 10 days. By forces of nature swirling within the Lipstick Jungle of NY, they meet and do their darndest to make with the love/hate relate!  Come watch this elaborate multimillion dollar excuse to see Matty McConman half naked in various predicaments!  

Direct download: howtoloseedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 4:19pm CDT

Noah attempts to survive the night in his haunted apartment.

Direct download: falloweenedit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40am CDT

These broads are the ultimate Femme FAIL-tells.  Comin' atcha from 2006 with chopsticks, its JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE starring Jesse Metcalfe, Brittany Snow, Jenny McCarthy, and Ashanti. (Gesundheit) 
John Tucker is the star Basketball player who dribbles in hoop schemes instead of hoop dreams.  He's been taking his ball to multiple courts, and by courts I mean fine-ass hottie-boom-blotties. A cheerleader, a Tracy Flick, and a vegan chick who've all been simultaneously dumped by JT pool their resources and plan the gruesome demise...of his heart!  They gussy up a new girl and coach her in the rules of Tucker.  They even give her a boob camera. Sadly, the only boobs we see in this are us, the viewers who got "tuckered" into this, on Halloween, no less.  Boo-ha-ha-ha-ha! 
Noah tells a tale of sister revenge that would make Quentin Tarrantino wet. Dave reads a very spooky short from his collection called "Heart Rot."
Direct download: JTuckfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:19pm CDT

Bye bye Ms. American Bynes, drove your crazy to the levee but the levee was dry. Dave and Noah travel back in time to see Amanda Bynes take Walt Disney's Snow White to a whole new level. 2007's Sydney White stars The Royal Bynesness herself, along with Sara Paxton, Matt Long and Danny Strong. It's going to take a continent's worth of woodland critters to help gussy up this retread of a Grimm Fairy Tale.  Amanda is off to school to follow in her dead mother's sorority footsteps, only to find that the Queen Bee of the Kappa house will stop at nothing to put her to death...in a social sense.  After throwing her out of the pledge coronation, Sydney gets taken in by seven dorks who live in overflow student housing.  The Queen of the Kappas, who's running for class president, is fixing to demolish their house unless one of them will stand up and run against her.  With the help of her fellow dorks, and the supportive yet lovingly bland hand of Tyler Prince, the Queen Bee's ex-boyfriend, Sydney will have to take the "Heigh" road on this blond "Ho". 

From a beach in a bikini next to K-Stew, Dave offers stirring words of encouragement to Amanda.  Noah cleans the Koi pond out back. 

Direct download: SydWfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:03pm CDT

Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs Robinson, Coo-coo-ca-choo!  This week Dave and Noah bask in the aftermath of 2005's Rumor Has It... starring Jennifer Aniston, Mark Ruffalo, Kevin Costner and Shirley MacLaine.

Decades after the release of The Graduate, the chickens have come home to roost...and boy do they get to cluckin' with some hot gossip. Newly engaged Jennifer Aniston has never felt a connection with her family.  While attending her younger sister's wedding, she finds out that her late mother had an affair with a mysterious man who would later, rumor has it, (ahem), go on to inspire the plot of The Graduate. This causes Aniston to believe that she is his daughter.  As she tracks him down, she slowly realizes that she is doomed to repeat all the boring events that caused her forefathers to be the talk of the town in the first place. This isn't a remake. 

Words cannot describe what this is. 


Should've.          sent...a poet.

Dave has a cold. Noah dishes some "fresh" dirt on Rock Hudson.  And then we dance with wolves.

Direct download: RHIedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:45pm CDT

Noah says goodbye to one of his best friends, Block E. 

Direct download: blockeeeee.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:45pm CDT

Oscar winner Sandra Bullock gets OSCARRED Straight in this 2009 disaster ALL ABOUT STEVE, starring the Blindsider herself, Bradley Cooper, Ken Jeong and Thomas Hayden Church.

Sandra is just your typical free spirited crossword puzzle writer who marches to the beat of her own cryptic clues.  Her parents set her up on a blind date with News Cameraman Bradley Cooper and it is love at first…well, whatever a five letter word for looking is. They get busy doing a four down, seven across on each other in his van when he realizes that she’s a few Pringles short of a good party. He fakes a phone call and goes on assignment across the country.  She loses her job and decides to grab the news by the pulp of its print; she goes on a road trip chasing after Steve on each of his assignments.  It’s kind of like Smokey and the Bandit, only instead of beer, it’s just bad jokes.

Dave writes a song of murder and channels the ghost of Sandra Bullock’s mother. Noah gets his first kiss…from a DEMENTOR! 

Direct download: AASedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:37am CDT

The best part of waking up is Harry Ford in your cup!  Dave and Noah review 2010’s Morning Glory starring Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson and Jeff Goldblum.  
Rachel is just your above-average redhead with all the pluck and none of the luck!  After getting fired from her gig producing Good Morning New Jersey, she shakily lands a job running Daybreak, a failing morning show full of mothballs and forget-me-LOTS. After firing the host, she has to break Harrison Ford out of contractual carbonite and force him to show us how to make frittatas and report the breaking news of mourning traffic. Luckily, Ford’s old co-worker Patrick Wilson will be there to seductively guide McAdams in the ways of Ford, a “Dan Rather-not!” of a man who BELONGS in a MUSEUM!  Network cancellations loom, tempers are tantrumed, chubby weathermen are exploited and journalists get jiggy with each other... All before 9 a.m!  

Dave goes into a Harrison Ford Fugue state and Noah designs a sun salute routine for Rachel McGriddle.

Direct download: mogloedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:18pm CDT

Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl star in the ultimate Spy versus WHY!?! Dave and Noah review Killers from 2010.  Heigl ain’t havin’ it when she’s stuck on a vacation with her lame parents, Tom Selleck and Catherine O’Hara.  They fly to Nice, France where half-naked Kutchers dance. While trying to fulfill a super top secret contract killing, Ashton meets Heigl at the hotel and decides to give up the ghost protocol once and for all.  They marry, settle down in suburbia and perform some missionary impossible that results in some serious babyfication of Heigl’s grey anatomy. Of course, every time he pulls out, they keep pulling him back in.  A bounty is placed on his head and suburbanite sleeper cells are activated.  It’s raining moles by the bowlful in a flick that’s My Blue Heaven meets Knocked Up meets The Bounty Hunter meets the Stepford Knives in your eyes, in your ears and any other place you use when its time to Get Smart.

Dave explains how fellas can get some sour patch without having to raise the roofies and Noah starts talkin’ Walken.  Christopher Walken.

Direct download: Killedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:44am CDT

Don't listen to this.  Don't speak of this. If you stay still, Chatty Fatty might stop talking.  

Direct download: fallow2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 2:58pm CDT

Fatty turns Fifty and its fantastic, wrapped in plastic!  This week we review 1987's Mannequin, (starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Catrall and Estelle Getty), a romantic comedy that explores man's ultimate PIMPelicious ideal of a relationship:  Andy McCarthy is a true artist and navel gazing biscuit brain.  He crafts a mannequin that gets possessed by the spirit of an Egyptian princess who died 4,000 years ago.  The only catch is, the mannequin is real only when they are alone. Their love can only exist when no one else is looking. Pretty soon, department store politics come between them and they must decide: will Andy trade his heart for a dame called reality?  A reality that is porous and extremely biodigradable?  Or will he throw caution to the wind and rescue that oversized barbie doll from the world's largest Mannequin shredder? In the words of Eighties rock band Starship

"And we can build this dream together standing strong forever nothing's gonna stop us now". 

Dave reveals what 50 shades of Rom Com have done to him.  Noah simply says "you again!". 

Direct download: Manequedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 2:17am CDT

Diane Lane is DYING to take the fast lane to Johnny's heart!  Must Love Dogs starring Diane Lane and John Cusack is the paw that breaks David and Noah's back in our final fatty four part series of THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER!  

Diane Lane is a forty-something woman who's former husband got the goldmine while she got the shaft!  Her overbearing sister creates a personal ad for her with an imperative that her suitors MUST LOVE DOGS. And while every dog must have its day, Diane finds an easy lay from a sexy dad, (Dermot Mulroney) and an eccentric boat maker (John Cusack).  Who will be the first to bury their bone in this broad's backyard? Tune in and find out! 

Noah retells some URBANE legends and Dave acquaints us with his first best friend Prancer.  Fly Pepper, Fly! 

Direct download: MluvDgsedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:46am CDT

When it comes to dating in this park, you better watch your step!  Dog Park starring Luke Wilson, Janeane Garofalo, some dudes from the sketch show Kids in the Hall and Natasha Henstridge, that blonde chick from the Species movie. They say a dog is a man’s best friend, until his girlfriend puts an end to it!  Luke Wilson is sharing joint custody of his dog Mogli with his ex-girlfriend who’s getting it on with the punk rocker who used to date the chick from Species who is now seducing Luke, but he can’t date her because he did a bachelor auction and got sold to this crazy broad who likes to love him ninja-style nonstop!  And every person who is in this picture is taking obedience classes from a mysterious dog psychologist who insists that everything must be perfect come Doggy Graduation. When it comes to matters of the heart, don’t say heel, just say HEAL. 

Noah finally understands why men take pilgrimages to the Champagne Room and Dave pray tells of his stinky-finger days of high school yore.

Direct download: Dogparfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:37pm CDT

Grody and Goldy are chasing one helluva Chevy!  Seems Like Old Times starring Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Charles Grodin and Benson the beloved butler by day, managing editor by sports night!  This 1980’s Neil Simon comedy is basically The Fugitive trapped inside a pet store that has yet to be hit by John Larroquette in his blind-date-mobile.  Chevy Chase is a writer who gets kidnapped by two thugs who force him to rob a bank.  He Richard Kimbles his way to Goldie Hawn, his ex-wife who is a lawyer now married to California’s next Attorney General, Charles Grodin.  Goldie likes to take in strays from her neighborhood as well as strays from the justice system, which consist of all her defendants she is putting to work in her household.  Will Chevy be the stray that breaks this couple’s back?  When Harry Met Fatty’s DOG DAYS OF SUMMER is half over, why are you watching the olympics? God Phelps those who help themselves!  

Dave remembers a gal who was attacked by the hound of Lake Crystal and Noah attempts to find out if Dave is a skinwalker.  

Direct download: slotedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 4:40pm CDT

The Truth is...only Gov. Jesse Ventura really knows. Welcome to When Harry Met Fatty’s first multi-episode special The Dog Days of Summer, where we devote all of August to rom coms that feature man’s best friend. Our first installment is 1996’s The Truth About Cats and Dogs where we witness how low Janeane Garofalo can go.  She’s the Rush Limbaugh of Veterinarian radio hosts who lives next door to Uma Thurman, a model / actress.  When a handsome listener pays a visit to the radio station, he mistakes Uma for Janeane and asks her out. The rest of the movie is spent inanely trying to whiten one of the whitest lies of all: Does this Cyrano De Bergerac routine make me look fat?!?

Dave suffers Noah’s revisionist re-enactment of his former days as a cruise ship employee and we wet our dog whistles with a salty dog.

Direct download: TACDfinal2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:26pm CDT

Anna Feris wants to know your sleep number. LITERALLY!  Twenty Eleventy's What's Your Number stars Anna Feris, Chris Evans, Andy Samberg, Joel McHale and Chris Pratt. When her latest boyfriend dumps her after refusing to accompany her to her younger sister's wedding, Anna makes a pact that the next man she sleeps with will be her last.  You see, she's teetering on nearly a SCORE of past lovers and her Polly Prissy Miss Fancy Panties Magazine says that women who've wet more than twenty wicks in their lifetime are emotionally incapable of marriage.  So, of course you know the saying...when you make a pact, God laughs and then shows you Joel McHale's back-sack. Anna breaks her pact by sleeping with Mr. Talk Soup and now she must backtrack and revisit her old score of B.Fs, hoping against hope that one of them can clean up nice and be marriage material. Luckily, she lives next to Captain America, who's willing to aid her in her quest to find the best EX of her life.  But with the First Avenger rescue her heart in the process? Renew your subscription NOW and receive our FREE football phone to find out!

Noah reaps what the Smiley Face episode hath sown and The Great Oppegaardo graces us with his uncanny abilities. 

Direct download: whanumfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:52pm CDT

Comedy, Party of None, there will be a 104 minute wait for your table! 

No Reservations (2007), starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin and Patricia Clarkson.  C-Z Jeezy is really good at staying in the kitchen and making sandwiches of sass for her unruly patrons.  When her sister dies in a horrendous car wreck, she inherits a cage-free newly orphaned niece, who's quite the emotional handful!  Meanwhile, back at the grill, her staff is slowly being taken over by the charms of her replacement chef, Aaron eechhart. When he came on the scene, Zeta ate a pie, with an ample side of humble!  This kitchen isn't big enough for the both of them, and in order to make room, we'll have to eat our hearts out!  It just goes to show you that life isn't always made to order and if you can't stand the heart, get out of their kitchen!

Noah, a recovering latchkey kid, reveals his fantastic time travel plans and Dave forms a Dead Poet's Society with a classroom of Pillsbury doughboys, all-the-while eating from a bag of beef jerky called "DARE". 

Direct download: noresfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 3:06pm CDT

Stop romancing that stone and pack your bags, we’re going on a VayHECHEion for Six Days and Seven Nights!  This Ivan Reitman rom com features no bakeries, coffee shops or bookstores, just Harrison Ford and Anne Heche surviving in the isles of the South Pacific, exploring the true adventures of the human heart.  Mayday!  Mayday!  Anne Heche is about to marry Ross from Friends when her plane goes down and she realizes that she might have to Schwim for it.  Luckily, her plane is being piloted by a Hans who flies Solo on the tank of a broken heart.  They land on an island filled with almost as much peril two middle-aged people can handle.  Pirates, sinkholes, water snakes and inflatable life rafts, oh my!  It’s enough daring-do to scare anyone straight...into the heart of a fond memory.  Love it or Heche it, you’ll have one helluva iPhoto slideshow. 

Noah gives us a rehash of Hecheful hearsay and Dave helps Katie Holmes get back on her feet.

Direct download: 6day7final.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 4:15pm CDT

Let's declare independance from this yuppie yenta's agenda!  Why? Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Tom Everett Scott and one half of the Gilmore Girls. Diane Keaton is about to turn half a century plus ten and she’s got one last goal before she becomes another tale of the cryptkeeper. All of her daughters have married off except for her youngest and most vulnerable, Mandy Moore. Although she caters cakes like crazy and can sing like the dickens, Mandy ain’t real handy when it comes to pickin’ her mannies. Lucky for her, Diane Keaton has just ordered a state of the art Gateway computer and with her baby boomer gumption and social network nudging, she makes it rain with mom-approved men on Mandy’s life.  Only not all of them pass muster and when it comes time for Mandy to choose between the love of her life and the love of her mom’s ideal find, we realize quickly that true love ain’t no cakewalk!  Several polka dots were harmed during the production of this film.   
It’s the Fourth of July and Noah reveals a traumatic event that happened during the celebration of our nation’s birth. Dave describes what puts the “oh!” in his “o-face”.

Direct download: Becuzfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:54pm CDT

2012 is half over.  It’s time to take a mulligan and it's time for celebrity target practice! New Year’s Eve (2011) starring Ashton Kutcher, Robert Deniro, Sarah Jessica Parker...hell, just take every character found on the rosetta stone and rearrange them at random and in perpetuity...and you will have the cast of this epic Garry Marshall-piece. The clock is ticking and second chances don’t expire until after midnight!  A dangerously mindful secretary who works for the Trinity Killer at a record company enlists the help of a bicycle courier to fulfill her list of New Year’s resolutions.  Two pregnant couples are competing for a cash prize to be awarded to the first baby born after Midnight.  A Raging Bull is dying of cancer...and dying to see that ball drop from the roof of his hospital, just one... more... time.  Little Miss Sunshine, (who’s now more “mid-sized Miss Evening Shade” these days), just wants to kiss a boy in Times Square, but her mom, who used to put the Sex in that very City, is just not that into her going out. Two youngsters get trapped in an elevator and one of them might be the Devil Himself. A Garden State pop star hires an ex-fiance to cater his concert...and perhaps fall into his web of regretful groveling, cuz from where he stands, it’s slippery when wet!  Cameos!  Confetti!  Hilary Swank-spanking!  Come turn over a new leaf and surrender yourself to beast that is New Year’s Eve!

Noah doesn’t know anything about birthin’ no babies but ehow.com does.  David gets visited by the ghost of Fatty Past for an appointment in Samarra!

Direct download: NewYearseve.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:44pm CDT

I scream you scream we all scream for Ice Queens!  The Cutting Edge from Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Two stars D.B Sweeney, Moira Kelly and Mickey Rourke’s breakthrough cameo as the Zamboni machine!  Horsey Doug Dorsey was king of the rink until one fateful Olympic hockey goal cost him his peripheral vision.  Kate Irate Moseley was pursuing some figure skating gold until her partner figured she looked better on her ass.  Kate gets a Russian coach who’s been brain damaged by drinking too much vodka made from Ireland’s last Potato Famine.  They burn through many a figure sk8er boi and as a last resort her Comrade of a coach brings in Doug.  It is hate at first skate and boy do the sparks fly as these two try to chagrin and bear it. With the Winter Olympics only a year away and a mysteriously impossible show stopping move called the Pamchenko barely under their belts, these two are going to scold their way to olympic gold!

Noah pillages the Olympic Village and Dave makes a beeline to Dorsey's Penalty Box to crack wise over cocktails.  

May your next Tripple Salchow be a Tripple Salchow-DOWN at Arbys. And Doug, don’t forget your horsey sauce!  

Direct download: cutedgefinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:13pm CDT

We Bought a Zoo (when we should have bought a clue!) Starring Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Thomas Hayden Church, and Ellie Fanning.  This Twenty-Eleventy comedy is based on a true story of a man who loses his wife to cancer and decides to move his family into a zoo that is about to go belly up. This movie is a two hour Kodak commercial with snakes.  And a fallen tree.  And a suicidal tiger.  Matt Damon, fresh off the boat from Mourners-ville, USA, gets a lot of lasagna from all the women who want him to put his grieving peen in their own personal hairy lasagna-like enclosures.  He falls for the one woman who has no noodle casserole up for offer, Scarlett Johansson, a sullen animal caretaker who spends most of her spare time wearing a hoodie and glaring at him through the pouring rain. Thomas Hayden Church plays Matt's brother and he takes Matt out for coffee and heaps of brotherly disapproval.  Ellie Fanning plays a mysterious orphan Zoo child who immediately falls for Matt Damon's emo-son, who's way into examining the dark shadows of his navel.  Matt Damon has a daughter who cheers a lot while twirling in the sunshine as she feeds a muster of peacocks.  A Bear gets loose.  The zoo runs out of money.  An inspector demands pricey alterations for the zoo to be up to code.  With a post-death catharsis around every corner, We Bought a Zoo will make a bid for your heart.  But Buyer Beware!    
Direct download: zoofinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:04pm CDT

Be Kind, be blind! It's the only way you'll ever want to experience Blind Date starring Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, John Larroquette and Phil Hartman.  Bruce Willis tries to impress his boss by bringing a blind date to a business dinner and boy oh boy this Basinger broad turns out to be quite the one-drink-wonder!  Before Bruce can ask for the check, they're off on a wild goose chase, with Basinger's ex-boyfriend John Larroquette hot on their heels. It's a crazy Eighties race against Bruce Willis' receding hairlilne!  Along the way, we encounter smokey buisness-casual discotheques, a runaway house, carjacking biker chicks and scads of poolside pratfalls. Bruce gets arrested and the only person Kim Bastinker can turn to is her ex-B.F, who happens to practice law during the spare moments when he's not crashing into various small businesses with his car. He offers her an ultimatum: He'll get Bruce out of the clink, if she agress to marry him. By the third act of this flick we hope you are sitting down...or at least near a pool, because Ray Charles could have called it!

Direct download: blindedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:46pm CDT

Heavy lies the head that bears Larry Crowne. Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, George Takei, Cedric the Entertainer and Fez from That Seventies Show.  Remember when a mid-life crisis meant you quit your job, lifted weights and fantasized about your daughter's best friend as a cloud of rose petals gently showered over her naked nubile bod?  Well, that kind of crisis can no longer work in this economy!  Tom Hanks, a decorated navy veteran loses his job of twenty years in a big box store because he lacks a degree to make him management material. Falling behind on his mortgage, he decides to sell his SUV, buy a pale blue scooter and start matriculating with the other misfits at his local community college. In no time, he’s Easy Ridin’ it with the campus’ hipster scooter crew and giving his charmingly alcoholic speech teacher,(Julia Roberts) an easy ride on his Tom Hanks patented crank!  If today is the first day of the rest of your life, then this film will make it feel like your last easy day was yesterday.  Starting over never felt so stale. Vrrrrrrrroooooooommmm!!! 

Direct download: LarryCedits.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:10pm CDT

Grab your hacky sack filled with coffee beans and don’t forget your flannel diaphragm, we’re going back the Nineties!  When you’ve hit a new low, there’s always room for Cameron Crowe. 1992’s Singles stars Bridget Fonda, Campbell Scott, Kyra Sedgwick, Matt Dillon and a Monarch Liftmaster Model C garage door opener.
This movie is about a group of twenty-something Gen Xers who all live in a singles condominium at Ground Zero of the Great Grunge Contagion of the late Twentieth Century.  Bridget is a Typhoid Mary, doing everything she can to infect her uninterested boyfriend Matt Dillon with her spastic cuteness.  Kyra Sedgwick is an environmentalist who just wants to have a man and possess complete control over her own garage door. We have electronic watches that can store phone numbers, some Alices in Chains, some Pearls that Jam, a miscarried baby, a half-eaten chili-dog, Tim Burton directing a dating video and a whole lotta dyslexic hearts.  If you’re in the mood for a series of half-sketches that meander through the notion of what its like to be white and drink coffee while breaking the fourth wall, then pop open the Pringles, cuz Singles is for you!   

Direct download: singfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:06pm CDT

This flick is all run and no fun.  If you like wacky chase scenes peppered with light bondage lap dances that end with a gun being drawn, then The Bounty Hunter (2010) starring Jennifer Raniston and Gerard Butler is the only game in town!  
Gerry and Jenny are recently divorced.  Jenny is journalist investigating the mysterious suicide of an evidence clerk. Gerry is an ex-cop-turned-bounty hunter who specializes in catching fugitives who dress up like Uncle Sam on stilts. Jen misses her court appearance for a minor offense and Gerry is gloriously on the bound, hunting for his ultimate prey: an ex-wife who can write the book on fake crying and running very slowly in high heels.  This is Tom and Jerry, repurposed for the heterosexual human species. Many a table is turned as the hunter becomes the hunted and the Atlantic City Mob gets involved to breathe life into a mystery that has miscarried well before any red herrings can be revealed.  In the end, all we have to cling to is the open road and the notion that Jennifer Aniston was willing to show her boobs to commandeer a rickshaw from some kid offscreen.  Now that’s a bounty that we’d like to mounty!

Direct download: bouhuntedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:56am CDT

Oh, think twice.  It’s just another day for you...you and me in paradise.  Couples Retreat starring Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis and Cee Lo’s stunt double. Oh the notion of divorce bears bitter fruit. Jason Bateman and Kristin Davis announce to their married friends that they are pulling a Kramer v. Kramer.  And can you blame ‘er? In a last ditch effort to save their marriage, they redeem a Groupon rate to the tropical isle of Eden. However, there are no Jet Skis to be had. We will be bickering and bargaining, squabbling and fussing, and would you like some more scorn with your emotional bulldozing? Vince Vaughn’s motor-mouth of comedy will drone on and on like the oversized fan off the back of an Everglades Air Boat. Cee Lo gets naked, Vince Yawn is preyed upon by lemon sharks, Charlotte from Sex and the City bumps uglies with Fabio the yoga instructor and we all are reminded about such fine products as Guitar Hero, Starbucks, Power Point, Foot Locker and Applebees. Spoiler Alert, they get their Jet Skis, but after this Groupon, we’ll need to get a GroupOFF!

Direct download: cupretedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:24am CDT

When you get dumped, go get yourself a nice hot dish of Dunst.
2001’s Teen Rom-Com GET OVER IT starring Ben Foster, Kirsten Dunst, Colin Hanks, Martin Short and Sisqo. Yes, the one and only Sisqo of “Thong Song” fame.
Ben Foster’s first love has left him for the arms of a boy band poseur, who has the audacity to speak English the right way...with an english accent. When they try out for the school’s production of Midsummer Night’s Dream, high school jock Ben Foster puts down his basketball, puts on a leotard and turns to the smell of the greasepaint and the roar of the theater freaks for some cold comfort. His spirit is willing but his craft is weak.  Kirsten helps him out and, honest to Bard, they fall for each other. However, the course of true love never did run like a smoothie! Her older brother Collin Hanks is Ben’s best friend and Ben himself wins the role of his ex-girlfriend’s lover in the show.  Lawd, what fools these mortals be! It’s going to take a lot of sex clubs, dance sequences and parties where people puke in the punchbowl to help our Ben restore amends.  Just try and get over this, if you give a Puck!  

Direct download: getovedit1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:51pm CDT

Think global, act local and always remember to buy MORGANIC, because did you hear?  Did You Hear About the Morgans? starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Hugh Grant, Sam Elliot and Mary Steenburgen. Come watch these city-pretties put the WHY in Wyoming.  SJP and Hughie-G are both suc-wealthful in all of life’s endeavors, save for their marriage, which is estranged at best. They witness a murder and get placed into Witness Protection, forced to live out the rest of their lives as Mr and Mrs Bumpkin, C/O Bumble Fuck Boulevaard in Boondock, Backwatersville USA.
Don’t worry, almost nothing happens.  Sure, they shack up with the town Sheriff and his colorful gun-toting wife, but they keep leaving them alone to work out their differences.  There is a bear, a town fair and a rodeo, and the killer who is tailing them eventually catches up...but by then you’ll realize that instead of watching this, you could just go to your local Outback Steakhouse and sit in a booth near a couple whose arguing on their Tenth anniversary.  It would be the same experience, except you’d get a tasty steak.  Or if you’re like Noah, who’s vegan, a couple of Bloomin’ Onions, hold the dip.   
Did you hear about the Morgans?  Yes Dear.  Unfortunately we did.

Direct download: didmorgedit_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 9:22pm CDT

This week Fatty goes to prom with PRETTY IN PINK (1986) starring Molly Ringwald, John Cryer, Anthony McCarthy, Harry Dean Stanton, and James Spader. This is a John Hughes film about the first Ginger to ever break through our Separate But Equal Freckle Barrier. Poor little non-orphan Andie really digs Richey-Bitch Boy Blaine... but WILL THEY GO TO PROM TOGETHER??? 

We play with records, lip-synch to Otis Redding, make a bunch of mom-shaped dresses and punch a locker in rage.  In the end, we find ourselves at prom, making a choice that will fuel decades of pop-culture warfare.  And wasn’t she easy?  And isn’t she pretty in pink? Dave delivers his Prom decree while Noah gives some helpful advice about maintaining that moral compass that lives with the little man in the boat who fishes between the canyons of your thunder thighs. Have a safe prom fatties, and remember, we may not be pretty, but Goddamn us if we can’t tickle you pink!  

Direct download: pinkfin.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:27pm CDT

Avoiding the Noid?  Unless he’s a TimeCop, he’ll never find you in 1988!  So sit down and join us for a slice!  Annabeth Gish, Lilli Taylor, Julia Roberts, and a pre-to-mid-pubescent Matt Damon will keep you company as you snuggle under a blanket of carbohydrates!  Brrrr!  The winds of change blow hard here in the port town of Mystic, CT.  Annabeth Gish is on her way to becoming Yale Material, until she takes a job babysitting for an Architect who owns a mysterious Nautical telescope, along with his other assorted Dark Materials. Lilli Taylor is a runaway bride, with the bug from M.I.B hot on her trail and Julia Roberts Eats, Prays and Loves her way to happiness with a wealthy wayward law school dropout who likes to throw darts while drinking. All are kept in check by the sassy maid from Two and a Half Men, who puts the Mystic Pizza Parlor on the map with her secret pizza sauce ingredient.  Let’s hope it’s glass.  Or Philip Glass!  

Dave assuages Noah as he comes to terms with his fear of wasps. Noah and Dave argue over what to eat before bogeying off to Mystic, CT, where a drunken chase through The Maze-a-saurus awaits!  Along the way, Dave takes a detour to Haunted Honkey Town and Noah reveals what all the REAL slutty girls put on their walls. Dave makes Halley super jealous with his Cocktail Corner, but it’s her fault, she’s cold as ice and only comes around every 76 years! Thanks for Listening and keep coming back to When Harry Met Fattty, a podcast that fulfills all your comet joke needs.   

Direct download: myspizfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:58pm CDT

Double down on your Bubble Trouble board game! Where we’re going, you’re gonna want to keep those dice inside their Popo-Matic dome!  What Happens In Vegas starring Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Miller, Queen Latifah, Zach Galifianakis and the ectoplasmic residue of every desperate heart that was dashed to pieces in that city of neon and lies.  Ash and Cam-Dizzy get drunk, get hitched and are about to ditch their shared marital status when one of them wins 3 million at a slot machine.  A judge sentences them to 6 months hard marriage before they can split the winnings and we get sentenced to ninety more minutes of this crap before we get to make like a banana.   

Direct download: WHIVedit_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:45pm CDT

They’re not Marooned, they’re just morons.  Amanda Bynes, Chris Carmack, Fred Willard, Kathy Griffin and Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air team up with the man who brought you Blue Lagoon and Flight of the Navigator!  Amanda Bynes pines for the affection of Pop Legend Jason Masters and corners him on a private party yacht.  They both go overboard and wash up on a deserted island...or is it?  Jason is hobbled and can’t move.  Luckily he has his number one fan to tend to his every desert island need.  This movie is basically Stephen King’s Misery rebooted as an Archie comic come to life!  Now go on and watch it, you dirty birds!  

Direct download: lvewrkedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:26pm CDT

Hail to the Holmes, she’s our nation’s First Daughter, Hail to Joey, that hot chick from Dawson’s Creek.  Hail to this flick that came out in Twenty-Oh-Bore, Her dad was Batman and her mom’s from ID4!  
Katie Holmes, Marc Blucas and Michael Keaton star in this Romulan-Com about our nation’s First Daughter and her pointed attempt to flee the coop and cut those presidential apron strings.  Her father’s up for re-election and Katie’s up for some Thirsty Thursdays and hoochie-coochie bartop dancin’!  But how can she have a normal college life when her not-so-secret service men are on her tail?  They’ll have to keep an eye on her, or risk chasing liberty -oops...that’s another movie.  Or is it?  

Direct download: firdaughfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:48pm CDT

This is certainly one doodle that can’t be undid.  Remember 2007?   Bush was on his way out and our brains were fried over-easy on a home skillet called Juno, starring Ellen Page, Jason Reitman, Jennifer Garner and the color orange. The story is simple:  Girl meets boy, girl gets preggo, and girl Leggos her baby to some super well-off peeps.  Then girl decides to re-meet boy.  All in a semester’s work, half pint!

Direct download: junofinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:55pm CDT

Eddie Money doesn’t want to let you go ‘till you see the light..and we don’t want to let you go ‘till you see this flick.  That’s right folks, they all can’t be stinkers!  Take Me Home Tonight Starring Topher Grace, Anna Faris and Dan Folger.  It’s the late Eighties, mateys, and Topher, who’s a recent graduate of MIT (yeah you know me), is working at Suncoast video, refining his quarter life crisis. He runs into his former highschool crush and accompanies her to a Labor Day party, lying about what he does for a living.  A BMW is stolen, cocaine is consumed, dance offs are had and some P.Y.Ts get busy on a trampoline. Party Hardy, Marty!  

Direct download: takemefinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:24pm CDT

The Wedding Singer becomes a dead ringer!  In 2011’s Just Go With It, Adam Sandler plays house with Jennifer Aniston in order to woo a swimsuit model.  Oh what a tangled web they weave when they first practice to deceive...if only we could deceive ourselves from ever watching this in the first place.  This is an unintentional horror film about what happens when you decide to leave your wedding ring on when you go get a drink.  Spoiler alert, they end up in Hawaii, and we end up gettin’ Hawaiian punch-drunk.

Direct download: JUSTGO_NOW.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:44am CDT

Aaahh GREEK Out!  Le Weak, C’est Chic, GREEK Out! A gentile walks into a Greek restaurant and leaves with a wife and her family,(i.e  the entire population of the isle of Crete).  Opa!  This ultimate date flick from 2002 starring Nia Vardalos, John Corbett and Michael Constantine is heavy on the schtick with a sparse garnish of plot. Be sure to save room for some Baklava, or the one-eyed Nana in black will spit on your bride to be!  Ahhh, Love is here to stay...along with her family...in hell!  MOUSSAKA!  FETA!!!  GYROS!!!   
Direct download: MBFGedit1_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:08am CDT

You break it you buy it and boy did we ever!  Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and one wrecked Honeymoon Suite that will surely be in need of a good Priceline Negotiator.  As Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga draws to a close, Breaking Dawn Pt. One teaches us one valuable lesson:  When you marry your high school sweetheart, be sure to get something old, something new, something Borrowed and something OHMYGOD she’s pregnant!  Pattinson may not be a one-pump-chump, but this situation is certainly a one-hump-baby-bump!  It’s like MTV’s 16 and pregnant on Quaaludes…and guest starring a bunch of talking wolves.  Join us as we dish on our very first unintentional romantic comedy!

Direct download: Bredawnfinal_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:10am CDT

Valentine’s Day (2010) Starring Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway and every other form of matter that has color and moves.  Come watch all the L.A pretty peoples celebrate VD and realize that they are JUST LIKE US!  …Well, just like those of us who spend every VD performing a civilwar-esque reenactment of LOVE ACTUALLY.  Cupid has his hands full, full of slings and arrows, but luckily Gary Marshall has packed this cast well over the regulated fire code limit.  You can run but you can’t hide from the cupid.  He has soft feet and small pink hands.  He can smell your desperation, as if it were chum in the water.  No matter how many Topher Graces, Jessica Albas and Jessica Biels you hide behind HE will find you out.  He has rose thorns for teeth and yellow candy hearts for eyes, eyes that never close.  On Valentine’s Day, we will break up, we will make up and we will take up our hearts!
Direct download: valentinesfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:31pm CDT

Hey!  You got your Chauvinism in my Chivalry. Hey!  You got your Chivalry in my Chauvinism.  Two great tastes that taste great together….in HELL!  In this 2009 delight Gerard Butler makes Katherine Heigl eat a plate of humble pie, but not before he gets his just deserts!  I apologize, its after midnight and I haven’t been fed. Don’t tell Mr. Wing.  Mogwai!

Heigl, which isn’t just an exercise you do to make your vagina strong, is a romantically challenged morning show producer.  Butler is a cable access misanthrope who lands a job on her show, all the while landing a place in her heart. He’s going to show her the ropes in the game of love…but careful, Gerry, you might just end up against the ropes! 

Direct download: uglytruthfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 2:40am CDT

Double Double Toil and Trouble/ Like a hell broth boil and bubble/ In the poison’d entrails throw:
A show belov’d by history /And two stars who lack chemistry /Nicole Kidman who’s fair of mane
Will Ferrell with a shtick that’s lame / a remake within a remake /t’will only give you a headache
Nora Bore-ah Ephron wrote this / and should’ve toss‘d it in the abyss. 
Direct download: Bewitched_final.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:49pm CDT

Any Given Sunday, our Field of Dreams will Blindside our Hoosiers by showing us All The Right Moves…for We Are Marshall, and don’t you forget it!  Mr. Destiny just got served in The Sandlot by one lean, mean Moneyball.  If none of this makes sense, then you have just entered the void that occurs in Noah’s mind whenever he encounters sports. Welcome.  Feel free to shake and lurch all over the church floor!  2005’s American remake of FEVER PITCH, starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore is finally a film that gives women all the baseball they so desperately crave in a rom com.  Drew falls for Jimmy, but come spring finds out that his true mistress wears one heckuva loud red sock.  When his passion runs red, and navy and white…how can their love survive before she retires to a league of her own?  
Direct download: Fever_Pitchedit.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:49pm CDT

Hollywood if she could…get Universal Healthcare…from Universal Studios that is!  This week we dig up a 1991 Country Time Lemonade classic starring Michael J. Fox and Julie Warner, (who can’t seem to find her bathing suit from time to time). MJF is on his way to Beverly Hills to be a plastic surgeon when he takes a detour that leads him directly to his true heart’s desire!

Dave and Noah are still housesitting.  Dave waxes poetic about his former country mouse ways.  Noah reveals his secret language called Bumblef*ck, meant to be spoken only to his invisible twin…who died years ago under mysterious circumstances.

Noah obsesses over a half-eaten titty cake that was left in a locker room.  Dave talks Porsche engines and admits the real reason he no longer lives in a one-horse town.

Direct download: docfin.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:35am CDT