Wed, 31 October 2012
Noah attempts to survive the night in his haunted apartment.
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Wed, 24 October 2012
These broads are the ultimate Femme FAIL-tells. Comin' atcha from 2006 with chopsticks, its JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE starring Jesse Metcalfe, Brittany Snow, Jenny McCarthy, and Ashanti. (Gesundheit)
John Tucker is the star Basketball player who dribbles in hoop schemes instead of hoop dreams. He's been taking his ball to multiple courts, and by courts I mean fine-ass hottie-boom-blotties. A cheerleader, a Tracy Flick, and a vegan chick who've all been simultaneously dumped by JT pool their resources and plan the gruesome demise...of his heart! They gussy up a new girl and coach her in the rules of Tucker. They even give her a boob camera. Sadly, the only boobs we see in this are us, the viewers who got "tuckered" into this, on Halloween, no less. Boo-ha-ha-ha-ha! Noah tells a tale of sister revenge that would make Quentin Tarrantino wet. Dave reads a very spooky short from his collection called "Heart Rot."
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Wed, 17 October 2012
Bye bye Ms. American Bynes, drove your crazy to the levee but the levee was dry. Dave and Noah travel back in time to see Amanda Bynes take Walt Disney's Snow White to a whole new level. 2007's Sydney White stars The Royal Bynesness herself, along with Sara Paxton, Matt Long and Danny Strong. It's going to take a continent's worth of woodland critters to help gussy up this retread of a Grimm Fairy Tale. Amanda is off to school to follow in her dead mother's sorority footsteps, only to find that the Queen Bee of the Kappa house will stop at nothing to put her to death...in a social sense. After throwing her out of the pledge coronation, Sydney gets taken in by seven dorks who live in overflow student housing. The Queen of the Kappas, who's running for class president, is fixing to demolish their house unless one of them will stand up and run against her. With the help of her fellow dorks, and the supportive yet lovingly bland hand of Tyler Prince, the Queen Bee's ex-boyfriend, Sydney will have to take the "Heigh" road on this blond "Ho". From a beach in a bikini next to K-Stew, Dave offers stirring words of encouragement to Amanda. Noah cleans the Koi pond out back.
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Wed, 10 October 2012
Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs Robinson, Coo-coo-ca-choo! This week Dave and Noah bask in the aftermath of 2005's Rumor Has It... starring Jennifer Aniston, Mark Ruffalo, Kevin Costner and Shirley MacLaine. Decades after the release of The Graduate, the chickens have come home to roost...and boy do they get to cluckin' with some hot gossip. Newly engaged Jennifer Aniston has never felt a connection with her family. While attending her younger sister's wedding, she finds out that her late mother had an affair with a mysterious man who would later, rumor has it, (ahem), go on to inspire the plot of The Graduate. This causes Aniston to believe that she is his daughter. As she tracks him down, she slowly realizes that she is doomed to repeat all the boring events that caused her forefathers to be the talk of the town in the first place. This isn't a remake. Words cannot describe what this is. They. Should've. sent...a poet. Dave has a cold. Noah dishes some "fresh" dirt on Rock Hudson. And then we dance with wolves.
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Thu, 4 October 2012
Noah says goodbye to one of his best friends, Block E.
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