When Harry Met Fatty

Think global, act local and always remember to buy MORGANIC, because did you hear?  Did You Hear About the Morgans? starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Hugh Grant, Sam Elliot and Mary Steenburgen. Come watch these city-pretties put the WHY in Wyoming.  SJP and Hughie-G are both suc-wealthful in all of life’s endeavors, save for their marriage, which is estranged at best. They witness a murder and get placed into Witness Protection, forced to live out the rest of their lives as Mr and Mrs Bumpkin, C/O Bumble Fuck Boulevaard in Boondock, Backwatersville USA.
Don’t worry, almost nothing happens.  Sure, they shack up with the town Sheriff and his colorful gun-toting wife, but they keep leaving them alone to work out their differences.  There is a bear, a town fair and a rodeo, and the killer who is tailing them eventually catches up...but by then you’ll realize that instead of watching this, you could just go to your local Outback Steakhouse and sit in a booth near a couple whose arguing on their Tenth anniversary.  It would be the same experience, except you’d get a tasty steak.  Or if you’re like Noah, who’s vegan, a couple of Bloomin’ Onions, hold the dip.   
Did you hear about the Morgans?  Yes Dear.  Unfortunately we did.

This week Fatty goes to prom with PRETTY IN PINK (1986) starring Molly Ringwald, John Cryer, Anthony McCarthy, Harry Dean Stanton, and James Spader. This is a John Hughes film about the first Ginger to ever break through our Separate But Equal Freckle Barrier. Poor little non-orphan Andie really digs Richey-Bitch Boy Blaine... but WILL THEY GO TO PROM TOGETHER??? 

We play with records, lip-synch to Otis Redding, make a bunch of mom-shaped dresses and punch a locker in rage.  In the end, we find ourselves at prom, making a choice that will fuel decades of pop-culture warfare.  And wasn’t she easy?  And isn’t she pretty in pink? Dave delivers his Prom decree while Noah gives some helpful advice about maintaining that moral compass that lives with the little man in the boat who fishes between the canyons of your thunder thighs. Have a safe prom fatties, and remember, we may not be pretty, but Goddamn us if we can’t tickle you pink!  

Avoiding the Noid?  Unless he’s a TimeCop, he’ll never find you in 1988!  So sit down and join us for a slice!  Annabeth Gish, Lilli Taylor, Julia Roberts, and a pre-to-mid-pubescent Matt Damon will keep you company as you snuggle under a blanket of carbohydrates!  Brrrr!  The winds of change blow hard here in the port town of Mystic, CT.  Annabeth Gish is on her way to becoming Yale Material, until she takes a job babysitting for an Architect who owns a mysterious Nautical telescope, along with his other assorted Dark Materials. Lilli Taylor is a runaway bride, with the bug from M.I.B hot on her trail and Julia Roberts Eats, Prays and Loves her way to happiness with a wealthy wayward law school dropout who likes to throw darts while drinking. All are kept in check by the sassy maid from Two and a Half Men, who puts the Mystic Pizza Parlor on the map with her secret pizza sauce ingredient.  Let’s hope it’s glass.  Or Philip Glass!  

Dave assuages Noah as he comes to terms with his fear of wasps. Noah and Dave argue over what to eat before bogeying off to Mystic, CT, where a drunken chase through The Maze-a-saurus awaits!  Along the way, Dave takes a detour to Haunted Honkey Town and Noah reveals what all the REAL slutty girls put on their walls. Dave makes Halley super jealous with his Cocktail Corner, but it’s her fault, she’s cold as ice and only comes around every 76 years! Thanks for Listening and keep coming back to When Harry Met Fattty, a podcast that fulfills all your comet joke needs.   

Double down on your Bubble Trouble board game! Where we’re going, you’re gonna want to keep those dice inside their Popo-Matic dome!  What Happens In Vegas starring Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Miller, Queen Latifah, Zach Galifianakis and the ectoplasmic residue of every desperate heart that was dashed to pieces in that city of neon and lies.  Ash and Cam-Dizzy get drunk, get hitched and are about to ditch their shared marital status when one of them wins 3 million at a slot machine.  A judge sentences them to 6 months hard marriage before they can split the winnings and we get sentenced to ninety more minutes of this crap before we get to make like a banana.