Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, Orange Stars, Green Clovers, they’re always after me lucky charms!  So let’s just hitch a ride on a falling star!

Lindsay Lohan goes from Mean Girls to the mean streets of Manhattan in 2006’s JUST MY LUCK.  Also starring Chris Pine.  Think of it as Freaky Friday, only instead of exchanging bodies, they exchange fortune.  Lindsay is the world’s luckiest gal.  Chris has absolutely no luck.  A chance encounter at a masquerade causes them to lock lips and exchange their respective lots in life…and eventually their desire for each other’s hearts! 

Direct download: Just_My_Luckfinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:43am CDT

And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say thank you for being my slam piece!

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis star in Friends With Benefits, a movie in which the age old question of “will they or won’t they?” gets replaced with “will they give it a break?!?”   Sexy is brought back and it forgets all about Sarah Marshall. 

Our heroes bring you breaking news from Rosemount High, where all evidence mounts against any rosy outcome for parents gone wild at a pep rally.  Being that this is our Christmas episode,  visions of Tom and Jerry drinks dance in our heads.  Dave gives dispatches from the TGIF grill where shit burgers are twice-flame broiled and served on a Britney Spears, with a side of Dharma and Greg. White Russians invade our Cocktail Corner and Dave scares the DICKENS out of them with our special Holiday Palette Cleanser.  Noah reveals his true intentions with all this podcast malarkey.   In the end, Dave delivers a special holiday message to all the unfettered fatties of yours and yore.  We Wish you a Fatty Christmas and a Fatty New Year!

Thanks for listening!

Direct download: fwb2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:47am CDT

You don’t need to discuss much.  Just drop off the Gig…li…and get yourself free.

This Rom Com gone wrong starring Ben Affleck and former In Living Color Fly Girl Jennifer Lopez was one of many horrible ways to turn three as a Twenty-first Century.  But Eight years later, we still can’t shake it: a hitman with a heart of gold, a lesbian assassin on the cusp of a lapse in her sexual identity…a lapsian, if you will, and WE WILL!  And Justin Bartha, who plays someone with a serious case of the R-Words. And by “r-words” we mean “rap-words”.  TestiFLY!  Come with us, cuz there must be fifty ways to lose your noodle.

Noah emerges from his nanowrimo spiderhole. Dave puts his optometry skills to work in vetting the truthiness of a J-Lo speech about eyeball assassination.   We learn how to make Muff Divers as a coping mechanism for pointless, plottless, Pitter-patter patois and Noah brings it home with a list of worst things to happen in 2003 besides Gigli.  For dessert, Dave offers up a salvo of Sappho for our suffering.

Thanks for listening!

Direct download: giglifinal.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:33pm CDT

You don’t have to answer.  There’s no need to speak.  I’ll be your belly dancer, Prancer and you can be my sheik!  Owen Wilson spends a Midnight at his Oasis in Woody Allen’s  romantic ode to nostalgia and art: Midnight in Paris (2011).  Also starring Rachael McAdams, Kathy Bates and Marion Cotillard.

Our heroes Dave and Noah reveal their nesting habits when it comes to taking in a show at The Riverview discount theater.  They navigate past  indelible foes such as Clickity-Clackity Laptop Girl and a Super-Chatty Pair of Bears.  Rawrzies! 

Dave tells of a time when he was once but a poor starving artist wandering the streets of Paris.  Noah imparts his hatred of Art House Laughter and we all bone up on our knowledge of The Big Woody.  Thanks for listening! 

Direct download: midnightparis_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 6:18pm CDT

Jason Bateman pulls a “BATE” and “SWITCH” in this 2010 rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston and a cup of sperm.  That’s right people.   The war is over. We can finally use semen as a major plot point in a mainstream motion picture!  Jennifer wants a baby, but not Jason’s baby, he’s too far into the friend zone for her, and she should know!   This NBC FRIENDS star, the woman who launched a thousand lesser “Rachel” haircuts finds a donor (Patrick Wilson) who is willing to give up the white gold.  Only, Jason, in the last minute while drunk as a skunk, plays a shell game with the sperm samples and makes THE SWITCH, ultimately getting his seed scattered in the gardens of Aniston.   Don’t worry, we’ll get to the Romance.  Just give us 101 minutes and a kid who acts like an even more disdainful Jason Bateman. 

Our heroes Dave and Noah fill out a sperm donor application form and discuss the finer points of lying to get ahead in life.  We recall parties we attended that were weirder than Aniston’s insemination party in the movie.  Dave's party involved dressing up a cat in antlers.  Noah finds out what Garrison Keilor on Propofol would sound like.  Cocktails are cornered and we enlist the aid of Kafka to help us out of this mess.

Thanks for listening! 

Direct download: theSwitch_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 10:25pm CDT

Drew Barrymore is Preggo, looking for a mate, this flick's straight from '98!  Home Fries, a tender tale about a fast food worker who witnesses 2nd degree manslaughter, only to unwittingly fall in love with the perp...Luke Wilson.  We can't blame her, but you can, if you want.  Have it your way!
Our heroes Dave and Noah bring you tidings of comfort and resentitude. We delve deep into Dave's psyche to uncover what kind of guest he really is bringing to the table.  We talk turkey, football, Gary Busey lineage and the proper way to address the creator of the Twilight Zone.  Dave caps it all off by ordering the death of 30 black Friday participants by way of our newest creation: turkey pox. Our cocktail corner is dive-bombed by kamikazes, our palette cleanser has a WHALE of good time refreshing our psyches and Dave sends us off into a tryptophanic coma with a special message to the turkeys.  Thanks for listening!
Direct download: Home_Fries_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 8:45pm CDT

If 2009 taught us anything, it is to never mind the Bullocks, even if they’re Sandy!  The Proposal starring Ryan Reynolds and Ms. DIE HARD ON A BUS herself, the congenial Sandra Bullock.  Ever feel like you are two inches from being “Deee-POR-ted”?  Just grab your hot personal assistant and play the Green Card, because it is Everywhere You Want To Be!

Our heroes Dave and Noah reminisce on a fatty sleep over that involved vodka infused with Florida Lemons and a stack of awful dvds.  Noah sifts through 101 proposal ideas from Cleveland’s Premiere wedding Dee-Jay Blog.    

Are Rom-coms alienating you?  Feeling empty inside?  Well fear not!  Dave can see that God-shaped hole in your heart from space and he is ready to fill it with our new religion: Fattyology!  Reach out, download and touch faith! (After pressing play).

Direct download: The_Proposal_final.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 5:59pm CDT

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that he got!  Ryan Gosling learns that Love don’t cost a thing!  This Twenty-Eleventy gem stars Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone and Josh Groban.   

This week our heroes Dave and Noah learn how to be FIERCE, how to be FLY, and above all FLAWLESS.  Plus our very own Popcorn Salad recipe is revealed...Patent Pending!

Dave regales us with the trials and tribs of secretly imbibing at a discount theater while Noah dresses him up in his love…of Gentlemen’s Quarterly.  Admiral Ackbar sets a trap only Dave can deliver us from and we all learn how the words OLD and FASHIONED shouldn’t necessarily be shunned...  Just pushed to a corner….the COCKTAIL CORNER, of course!  MAKE IT WORK, FATTIES, MAKE IT WORK!!!  

Thanks for listening! 

Direct download: crazystupidlove_2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 7:00pm CDT

This 2007 comedy is proof positive that Noah doesn't know Cheech from Chong. Starring Anna Faris, John Krasinsky, Adam Brody and Jane Lynch. Our heroes Dave and Noah reckon with the horrors of post-Regan-Era-Carbface and rend their garments at the sight of Jim from "The Office" committing acts of Onanism. Noah's unresolved past with a certain Oscar is revealed and Dave offers us the only way out....which is through a corner...a cocktail corner. Download if you dare...but realize that you'll never look at Ferris wheels the same way again. 

Thanks For Listening!  

Email for love advice.  Fatty wants a letter!

Direct download: smiley_face.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 11:58pm CDT

In October of 2011 two fatties disappeared into a St. Paul apartment while reviewing Practical Magic for a podcast.  A week later their footage was found. 

Practical Magic (1998) Starring Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Diane Wiest and, according to Dave, "A Whole lotta other Witchey crap."  Our Heroes recount horrific happenings of yore and actually dabble in a little sorcery of their own.  Warning:  the last person to download this podcast had only seven days left to live...Break the curse and pass this episode along - lest your next bumper crop of candy corn be plagued by the Jeepers Creepers creature!  

Happy Halloween!  Thanks for listening.

questions?  comments?  need advice?  email  You'll be a star!

Direct download: practicalmagic2.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 1:02am CDT

...and Avril Lavigne has NOTHING to do with it!  This week, our heroes Dave and Noah have been breached!  While taking cover, the spirit of Janny Joppers pays them a visit.  Noah dons his "Dear Flabby" hat while Dave challenges him to a debate about matrimonial moral ambiguity.  By moral we mean oral.  More Oral. So kick back, pour yourself a glass of merlot and put on your mother's most billowy blouse.  We are about to O-M-G and NEVER leave!

Need advice?  Send your queries to dear flabby at You'll be a star!

Direct download: itscomplicated_3.mp3
Category:Film and TV -- posted at: 12:09am CDT

Always a Bridesmaid, never a Byerly's. Oh Brother!  While you were WIGGing out with Kristen, our heroes Dave and Noah put on their gumshoes and got down to brass tacks about what really goes on in them GIRLS ONLY bridal showers. Along the way, we discover that we are only as sick as our secrets, Dave reveals ALL, Noah talks about how sitting next to a large black man can shape your movie going experience, and we all realize what it truly means to KEEP IT GUMMY!

Thanks for listening.

Questions?  Comments?  Need guidance?  Email Noah at  You'll be a star!

Direct download: Bridesmaids.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:28am CDT

This isn't just a catchphrase from a Home Box Office situation comedy.  It's a full-fledged movie, missy!  In this episode, Dave is put to the test, Noah recounts the horrors of a surprise retirement party, and we all find out what it really means to "sell your soul to the devil of crappy". 

Thanks for listening!  

p.s.  Need advice?  Send your lovelorn queries to Noah at  You'll be a star!

Direct download: hesnotintoyou.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:50pm CDT

In the game of life, there are no thrones. So stone the crows.

This Katherine Heigl Josh DUHamel venture was a feather in the cap of 2010, and our heroes Dave and Noah valiantly viewed this cinematic work for the benefit of Mr. You. 

Download or stream this mp3 and hear tales of Noah's Odyssey of the Mind kerfuffle, David's first kiss in the rain and how Heigl succeeded in this business without really buying...a clue!

Thanks for listening..and knowing the no unknowns.

Direct download: lifeasweknowit.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:23am CDT

You Again

We Watch the chick flicks, so you don't have to!

On our maiden voyage, our heroes Dave and Noah plumb the depths of YOU AGAIN (2010) starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver and Sarah Marshall from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. 

Along the way we uncover tales of school lunchery, forgotten cocktail recipes, and what it means to possess GATOR POWER. 

Thanks for listening!

Direct download: you_again2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:42am CDT